Page 129 of Pretend
Rider is a leader on the team and even in life. He pushes people to their limits. And when they reach it, he makes them realize there’s a new one…they just hadn’t been challenged in ways they needed to be.
Here I am at home in the old room I shared with my brother while growing up. My mother still keeps it occupied with some of our things. I stare at the black wall with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers poster on my side of the bedroom. There’s a framed photo of my graduation day when I became a Navy SEAL. I’m surrounded by my family while I stand there in the middle with my trident. I have so many brothers and sisters.
I was supposed to get out of the Navy. But I made the decision to stay in when Ari rejected me. It felt like the right thing to do.
Then my eyes catch the soccer ball in the corner. Ari gave me her soccer ball as a Christmas gift…right before she fell asleep on my chest from crying all night after we watched Scream together. She left a cute little note on it, scribbled on it drunkenly.
I smile and remember the night I kissed her at the military ball. She kissed me back. Even if it was for a second, she did. In that one second, my entire world stopped.
It was wrong. I hurt so many people. I’ll never do that shit again.
I don’t realize I’m balling my fists so hard until the circulation has been cut off, and the pins and needles sensation ripples. I let go and run a hand through my hair.
The memory is painful.
Fuck.
Will I ever love anyone else like I fell for her?
Suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s a text message. I pull it out of my pocket and grin at the name.
Alessia.
I sent her a text earlier, checking in on her and her mental health. She’s filled me in on pretty much everything. She hasn’t told me specific details, just that she left and where she is. She made me promise not to tell anyone—specifically Daegan.
I don’t have many female friends, but starting this friendship with Alessia has been the most heartwarming thing I’ve had in a long time. I care a lot about her. She’s a beautiful girl with a fun personality, and I’m glad we get to call each other friends. Even though I’m done with the personal security assignment, our communication has stayed consistent.
“Son!” My mom calls out for me from downstairs.
“Yes, mom?”
“Dinner is ready!”
I put my phone back into my pocket and head downstairs. My mom likes to suffocate me with her love and fill my belly with food until I can’t move when I’m home. She’s a mom to four boys. She can’t help it. Two of them in which are SEALS.
“On my way!” I shout.
54
DAEGAN
TWO MONTHS LATER
Stella and I officially divorced.I am fully healed and cleared to go back to work. Everything is back to normal. I’m set to deploy soon as the head sniper and go back out on missions with my team. This time, we’re all going back out together. Grim, Cobra, Texas, and Bane.
Everything is falling back into place…except that I haven’t seen Alessia since I held her in my arms as I bled out. I’ve gone to her house and her mother’s and even asked if Ravenmore knew where she was. But no one will tell me. They don’t want me in her life.
I can’t find her. She won’t answer her phone, and she has no social media presence. So, I’ve asked Graves to help me.
Ever since she left me, I’ve been wanting to do something I’ve been holding off since my mother’s passing. My faith has been tested over and over all my life. But she makes me want to start praying again.
I close the door to my guest room. Everything has been emptied out. All the photos of when I looked into her when she was first assigned to me are gone. Still, I carry the piece of her hair in my pocket.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, my heart jolts, and my chest tightens. Every time my phone alerts me, I’m a frantic mess, hoping I see Alessia’s name pop up. She needs time, I get that. I’ll give her time, but I need to see with my own eyes that she’s okay.
I stop in my tracks after putting the last photo of Alessia in my drawer. I pull it out, and Grave’s name reflects back. I sigh with a hint of disappointment and hit the green button.
“What’s up?”
