Page 118 of Mariposa
“Beast, please…” I keep trying to interrupt because I know what he's planning, and I hate him for it.
“Do you know why I gave you the call sign Mariposa?”
“Tell me when we get out of this!”
“Seeing you the entire time you were my student…you fought to gain your wings. I watched you through a stage of metamorphosis. Your resilience and strength remind me of the butterflies I used to chase as a child during migration season. I would run around the playground and chase them until I couldn’t anymore. They were always so enchanting, confident, beautiful, and freelike you.”
“Stop it!” I yank his hand, but he carefully slips out of my grasp.
“I’ve always been corrupted by your light, no matter how hard I tried to fight it. I’m not sorry about breaking the rules—I’m only sorry I didn’t say these things sooner.”
There’s a softness about his tone. I’ve never seen Kade this vulnerable before, but all his walls are down. Damn him for doing this because I know that no matter what’s happening, I have to trust him, and at this moment, I don’t care that he’s my leader. We both have to live.
“You better not even think about it. Don’t you fucking dare say it!”
He smirks, tracing a loose strand of hair by my ear. He looks at me like he's trying to save this moment and take a mental picture of us together. He shifts into my superior, a stone-cold, cruel soldier anyone with a heartbeat fears.
“It’s already done. Go now!”
“The hell I am! I’m not leaving you; Beast, don’t do this.”
“Fucking go, now. It’s an order!” he growls, his face so serious it kills me. The vein in his neck bulges with intimidation.
“We’re out of time…you have to go now, or we're both going to die!"
A hot tear leaks down my cheek.
“I am an American soldier!” I shout, closing my eyes tightly, trying my hardest not to let the effects of my TBI get to me.
Kade smirks, while his eyes water, just as my vision blurs more.
“I will never leave a fallen comrade!” I point at him, seething every word. I’m having an anxiety attack. “You taught me never to quit, dammit!”
He can't do this! I won't let him sacrifice himself.
“Violet.” He kisses me hard as enemy fire continues to rain down on us. “Go, now! I need you to save yourself, don’t you see? You’ve never needed me, baby. Never. You’re unbreakable.”
“Kade, I can’t do this without you! Think about everyone! What about me?” I cry out, begging him for mercy. I know his plan will work, and I’ll survive, but at what cost? My heart will stay up here on this mountain forever if he makes me do this.
He cups my face aggressively and crashes his lips against mine. He shuts his eyes tightly and ruthlessly as though in excruciating agony, matching my emotions. He grabs something from his kit and forces my hand to open quickly. I obey and let him command my movements like I’ve always done before. Something hard with a chain settles in my palm. Before I can see what it is, he closes my hand, shielding it.
“I am thinking about you! Go! Fall in love over and over again. Get married, have lots of pretty babies, go live your life, and remember it wasn’t your fault, you hear me?”
I sob uncontrollably as the rounds get closer and the enemy’s shouting grows louder. They surrounded us, pinning us down in the open area. They’re so fucking close; I think they’re right above our heads.
“Kade...stop, please! We can’t be out of time…we can’t!” I’m not talking about the mission anymore—I’m referencingus. “No! We’re not out of time, come with me!”
“Baby, you and I will never be out of time. What we have together is infinite. Even when we’re nothing but phantoms withbeatless hearts, we will always be perfectly intertwined because you were made for me.”
Another explosion erupts above us, cutting me off. It shakes the mountain like an earthquake. My hearing goes out momentarily and is replaced by a white noise ping. Warmth trickles down my ears. Blood leaks out of them, and more drips out of my nose. I want to scream, but I hold it in, grinding my teeth until I feel a chip. Fire flushes through my body in a monstrous wave, making my muscles quiver and cramp.
I’m so fucking frustrated. I wish I had more rounds and more grenades; I’d make it all stop. I’m failing Kade because I need to save him the way he’s been saving me.
He shields me with his arms and body, pushing me back into the wall of dirt and tree roots. He’s still thinking of others before himself. Even in what could be our last moments, Kade O’Connell is the most selfless, giving soldier I know. He proves it every single damn time.
“If you do this, Master Sergeant, I will never fucking forgive you!”
“Then don’t! But I’ll never be at peace if you die!” he screams back, just as he takes a bullet to his shoulder. Blood sprays across my face and into my open mouth. His beautiful face twists into pain, and before I can grab hold of him and pull him into cover, his large hand stabs into my vest.
