Page 119 of Fractured
Of course, there was no music in the cave, but that haunting melody that used to come out of a music box filled my head all the same. It drowned every single thought in my head, as if my own mind was preparing itself for what I had no clue how to prepare for. I figured that out when I started to feel like I had soft silk wrapped around my hands and fingers. So real I could have sworn to you that I was wearing those gloves—and most importantly, the sharp taste of burnt sugar and metalexploded on my tongue.
Suddenly, I was back in the Ice Palace, sitting on the floor, all my senses distracted from the world, focused only on what went on inside my body.
Whether Vair guided me through all of it or not, I wasn’t sure, but the frostfire came willingly this time. It was uncomfortable as it rushed through my veins, tiny iceshards piercing every inch of me as they gathered in the palm of my hand, then radiated off my skin.
It didn’t last long, though.
A gasp, and my hand was no longer touching anything.
A small cry, and my eyes were wide open, the music gone, the glovesnoton my hand, the taste of those berries once again sent to the past where it belonged.
And Raja was still there, had dragged herself away from me. She was breathing heavily, looking down at her chest and the small white flames that were dancing on her skin, right on the edges of the wound.
They weren’t burning her, though. On the contrary—I could have sworn that a thin layer of frost had formed over the wound, and it was nowmelting.
As it melted, Raja’s pale skin knit itself together.
It happened right before my unblinking eyes, and I still struggled to believe it. The white flames went out, and the dark that had stained the skin around the wound had disappeared, and the wound had closed completely. Not a speck of dried blood remained, only slightly raised and slightly pink scar tissue.
Raja looked up at me with her eyes wide open and her jaw nearly touching the floor.
“It worked,” Vair said as he sniffed the air with his head raised. “The curse is undone.”
Well, fuck me sideways.
I was looking at my own hands to see if something had changed about them, but nothing had. My skin looked exactly the same as always—no flames and no frost and no light.
“You’re her,” Raja whispered, and I looked up at her again. “You’re…you’re really her.”
My stomach twisted and turned.
The memories flooded my mind all at once again.
“I’m not.” I wasn’t the Ice Queen, was I?
How could I be her when I wasme?
Nilah Dune from Earth, who’d been bullied her whole life, who’d gone a whole life without her mother, stuck in survival mode even when she thought she was living. The same girl who crossed to another realm—to help the boy who’d saved her life, yes, but also to escape from her own fucking demons.
Instead, I’d crashed headfirst into much bigger ones.
I guess life is funny like that.
Still—I might’ve had frostfire and I might’ve been considered a vessel by these people, but I wasnot the Ice Queen.
And I stood up.
“I’m not her, Raja. Maybe she made me what I am today, but I am not her. I’mme.” And that would forever remain a truth I could come back to no matter what tomorrow looked like.
“Nilah…” Vair said, and my name was a warning.
“I’m going after him,” I said—to him and to Raja. “He told you to tell me to trust him, and I do—but I don’t trust any other fae I’ve ever met. Not evenyou.” Raja swallowed hard. “So, I’m going after him because I simplycan’tsit here and wait.” Vair’s wide eyes locked on mine, and I reminded him one more time, “I amnother.”
They didn’t try to stop me, though I expected it, at least from the lynx. Instead, by the time I put my boots on and tied the cloak around my shoulders, Raja had already put on hers.
Her sword was in her hand. Her lips were pressed into a thin line. “Let’s go.”
She turned around and her black cloak swooshed in theair before she disappeared into the tunnel. Vair looked up at me, and I could have sworn the words were at the tip of his tongue. I didn’t stop him from speaking—that I actuallycoulddo that never even occurred to me.
