Page 47 of Fractured
“Different, how?” I said with barely any voice.
“A different person,” the talking lynx said. “That’s all I can remember.”
“Why, though? Why can’t you remember?Whatcan’t you remember?”
“Everything,” Vair said. “Most things. I was her companion. I was with her all the time, yet I can hardly remember the shape of her face without looking at you.” Again, those bright blue eyes turned to me. “I don’t know why. I was lost for years until I felt you.”
Well, fuck.“Lost, how? Where?”
“Here, I think. I…” The lynx turned to the windows again. “I slept a lot.”
There went my train of thoughts, crashing into invisible walls again. “I’m…I’m sorry.” And I had no clue what the hell I was sorry for.
“She did something.” My stomach twisted.
“The queen?” He nodded. “What? What did she do?”
But Vair didn’t know. “I cannot remember.” He really did sound exactly like me when I was in pain. When my heart hurt.
“We’ll figure it out,” I said, imagining it was Rune saying those words to me. “Whatever the reason why you brought me here, we’ll figure it out.”
“I know, Nilah. The stars know the truth, even if I don’t remember it. It will find its way eventually. It always does.”
Heavy words coming from a lynx.
“The truth,” I whispered, leaning to the side to rest against the metal leg of the table. Not the most comfortable place, but I was resting. I could see the moon from here just fine. “I’ve been chasing the truth for what feels like a lifetime now, and I have yet to find it.”
Vair said, “The chase isn’t over yet.”
Maybe he was right—I had no clue. And for whateverreason, my mind was blank and my instincts calm right now. My eyes were half-closed, too, as I thought of Rune, hoped he could hear the thoughts in my head right now, know that I was okay. Hoped that he was okay, too, and that I would wake up tomorrow and I would find my way out of these doors.
We’ll be all right, Wildcat,he whispered in my ear before I slept right there, sitting on the stair. And like always, I believed him.
fourteen
The sunlight fallingon my face woke me up.
I was lying on something hard, but my body was too numb still to know if anything hurt. Then I noticed the softness underneath my cheek—a pillow. I was lying on something hard, but my head was on a pillow that I most definitely hadn’t put there myself.
The memories rushed in and I sat up so fast black dots took away my vision for a second. A blink, and I could see that I was still sitting on the floor on that stair in the middle of the bedroom.
TheIce Queen’sbedroom.
I was in her palace, which was sentient, and which had trapped me in its rooms, and Rune wasn’t with me, but a lynx who spoke in my own voice was.
Had anybody told me last year that this would be my life right now, I’d have punched them in the face. I’d punched people for a lot less. For this, I’d knock all their teeth out because I’d be sure they were trying to mock me.
Look at me now.
“Good morning,” said my voice from across the room,and I wasn’t even surprised to hear it anymore. I was more surprised by the fact that it was daylight outside. The sky was a bright blue canvas with thick white clouds here and there, the moon and the stars gone.
By some miracle, my body didn’t hurt, or at least I didn’t feel it. I stood up and I went closer to the windows to see outside, and… “Oh, my God,” I whispered, both hands in front of my mouth.
The Frozen Court had come to life, and it might be the most beautiful place I had ever seen in this world and mine.
The snow didn’t glitter like frost—it glowed, soft and surreal, blanketing the world below. It wasn’t ice, not like back home. It was adifferentsnow, gentler somehow. It curled across the rooftops and gathered in the hollows of trees like cotton-candy. So many trees. So colorful, sobright.
We wereveryhigh up, indeed, and from here, the entire court looked almost like a painting. There were people out there now as well.
