Page 85 of Fractured
Half a soul.
Half a queen’s soul inside me because I was merely a vessel. Not a human being, no—avessel.
“The magic worked. Half of her waited for the right time,” said Vair. “Half of her waited for you.”
I shook my head, tempted to laugh. “Notmespecifically, though. I wasn’t chosen or fated or any of that shit, I was just…”
“Empty,” Vair finished for me. “A human body touched by magic.”
Shivers broke down my spine. “The life-bond Lyall created.”
The lynx nodded. “The perfect place to hide—in plain sight.”
Over and over again I shook my head and argued with myself in my mind because I didn’t have enough voice to speak. Over and over again I tried to reason that it wasn’t true. That none of it made any sense, that souls could not be split, thenhiddenin another body.
“Magic cannot exist in a human body—and I had magic,” I finally said, or I thought I said, and not just once. “That’s what you all said—magic cannot be transferred into a human body, a mortal—that’s not how any of it works.”
The look in Vair’s eyes. God, I didn’t want to hear what a part of me knew he would say next.
“But you weren’t,” he whispered. “You were no longermortal when the life-bond transferred Seelie magic into you. You were already…”
I swallowed hard. “A vessel.” A fuckingvessel.Just like he himself said once in the Ice Palace.
“I am not sure of the correct order of things, Nilah, but if I had to guess, I would say that when the Seelie Prince’s magic touched you, it signaled the spell of the Ice Queen. When the prince created the life-bond with you, the spell activated, and it settled into you. Once you were no longer mortal, the life-bond completed itself, maybe in time, maybe right away—I am not sure. But it worked because you were no longer mortal. Youare notmortal.”
These words spun around in my head over and over again, not in shiny lights, but each letter weighed as much as a mountain. It crushed my ribcage completely. Somehow, I’d managed to pull my legs up, knees against my chest, and my eyes could have been open or closed—I couldn’t really tell.
All I saw were the images in my head.
All I saw was the cursethat was my curiosity—the truth, the truth, I want the truth!
Well, now I didn’t fucking want the truth. I didn’t wantthistruth. I wanted everythingbutthis truth. I never wanted to hear a single word of this ever again in my life.
Then…
“Continue.”
I looked up, stopped shaking, stopped crying—was I even crying? I couldn’t tell.
Vair had seriously said that, and I couldn’t even find it in me to tell him to go fuck himself.
He must have seen it in my eyes, though, must have seen the words plain as day, because he didn’t ask me again. Instead, he continued himself—with the last words that the Chronicler had said before I’dpassed out.
“She did not flee a coward’s end nor cheat the threads the stars would send. She saw…”Vair closed his eyes for a moment, and I remembered this part, too, perfectly. I remembered the question he’d asked the Chronicler—it had been him, not me. By then I’d been on the ground, barely awake.
And Vair said,“It is not for me to say. The Seer of Shadows knows that day—knows the one who took her life, the only one who can name the why.”
I breathed—and only then realized that I hadn’t been until then.
“She did not do this to save herself,” said Vair. “The queen did not do this to cheat the prophecy. Iknewshe wouldn’t have. I knew.”
“Then why did she do it? What did she see?”
I looked at him, waited with my heart in my throat… “I don’t know,” the lynx said. “The Chronicler could not reveal that to us. Only the Seer of Shadows can.”
“The Seer of Shadows?”
“Yes. That is the name of the seer of the Midnight King.”
