Page 76 of Any Rogue Will Do
“I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry. But if I’d had another minute to think, I’d have said yes,” she called from the window.
At that he whirled around and growled, “Another minute? Were you sent by God tae test my patience, lass? You neededanother minute? You’ve had months tae figure out the answer tae that question.Months.Did you need another minute when I took you tae bed? Or when you encouraged me tae ask for your father’s blessing—who’s still a right bloody prick, by the way. I’ve loved you for months, but you couldn’t answer one simple question when he asked.” He shook his head, then set off again, pulling Ezra behind him.
The noise she made was somewhere between a screech and a groan. “Don’t you dare act all high and mighty with me, Ethan Ridley. You’ve loved me for months? Well, that’s just brilliant—wonderful information to keep to yourself, you coward. Because you telling my father—who, yes, is a horse’s arse—is the first time I heard you say a word about love. So forgive me if I needed adamned bloody minuteto absorb that information. If you’d waited for ten more seconds, I’d have told you that I love you too.”
He stopped again, letting the saddle fall to the ground, and lifted his face to the sky. The frigid rain could wash his face of dirt and tears and whatever else. Damn it. It irked him to admit she was right about anything right now, but she had a point. He’d never told her how he felt.
The coach might not have been going fast, but when she opened the door and flung herself from it, basic laws of physics dictated she had few options but to land in a graceless stumble against him, nearly knocking them both over. He caught her before she hit the ground. He’d always catch her, even when he wanted to wring her neck.
“Only a lunatic jumps out of a moving carriage. You could have been hurt. What the hell are you thinking?”
As they stood toe to toe, Lottie jabbed at his chest. The carriage rolled to a stop about ten feet down the road. “I love you. I had this plan, where I’d apologize and we’d come up with a way to save Woodrest. Except nothing went right. We didn’t have any privacy in the carriage, and then you told me you love me—in front of my father of all people. It hit me all at once. How much I’ve hurt you, without realizing it.” Tears rolled down her cheeks before being washed away by the rain. “I don’t understand how you could love me through all that or why you’re even here helping me out of this messagain, but I’m begging you to keep showing up. Just show up. Love me, and I’ll love you, and we will make this thing between us real. Please. You won’t regret it. I promise.”
Heartbreak and hope were a strange combination of emotions, but they poured out of him like a hemorrhaging wound. She’d asked for his trust before they’d dealt with her father, and then she’d let him down. Ethan turned his back on her to stare back at the gates of her childhood home, digging his fingers into his hair and keeping them there as he muddled through everything she’d said.
With his hands on his head, it was simple enough for her to duck under an arm to face him again. “Let me guess. You need a moment to think?” she said with a small smile.
A laugh bubbled up despite the emotions clutching his vocal cords. Tracing the lines of his reluctant smile with a finger, she tugged his head down to her.
Ethan joined her in the kiss willingly enough, although without his normal enthusiasm. Right away, something was different. It was as if she poured her soul into the kiss, trying to fill the void where the broken pieces of his heart lay, soothing the pain she’d caused. After a moment, her tongue nudged at the seam of his lips, and he opened to her. Desire rose from the hurt and anger, turning the kiss frantic. Gripping the back of her head, Ethan gave her everything she’d asked for without words—the hunger, the pain, the emotional burden of loving her without being loved in return, the roiling desire that never fully settled, and finally, joy at what her body was saying. This wasn’t a goodbye kiss or an apology kiss. This was a kiss that fought for something. Fought for them.
“I love you,” she whispered against his mouth. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. That’s what I was saying. Go ahead and be angry with me. I deserve it. I’ll still love you when you’re done with the mad.”
Their cheeks were damp, from either the rain or tears, he didn’t know. “Say it again.”
“I love you. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”
“Do you mean it? This week has been hell on us both. I can’t do it anymore.”
“I need you to trust me one more time, and I know that’s asking a lot.” Rain clumped her lashes into dark spikes as she looked up at him. Her hands hadn’t left him since that shattering kiss. She smoothed a finger across his bottom lip, leaving a trail of sensitized tingles in its wake.
“Just tae be clear, I want everything, lass. A real marriage. A life together. A home. Perhaps children. I want the right tae kiss you for no other reason than that it’s three o’clock on a Thursday.”
Lottie let loose a watery laugh as he drew her closer to his chest. “Is that what day it is? I’ve lost track.”
The lump that had been in his throat finally went away, and he drew a shuddery breath. “I want tae hear you laugh every day.”
“Even though I hurt you?”
God, had she ever. Moving past that moment of devastation in the library had to be a choice. The decision came easier with her in his arms. “I’m no’ blind, lass. There will be hurt feelings sometimes. You’re a bossy, managing sort, an’ I’m a stubborn arse. Good thing we both believe in second chances.” Ethan tucked a loose curl behind her ear, then caught one of her tears with a thumb.
“I feel I should warn you that I might not be good at this. I’ve never been a partner. All I’ve ever done is either take over or stay silent and feel trod upon.”
“If you’re willing tae bend, then I’ll bend tae meet you.”
“What if we butt heads all the time?”
He laughed—something he’d thought impossible a half hour before. “Oh, lass—wewillbutt heads. I guarantee it.”
The buzz whipping through him must be how birds felt when they danced on wind currents. Free, confident they wouldn’t fall. She linked her fingers behind his neck, then burrowed her nose under his jaw. A happy giggle escaped her, making him grin wider.
Ethan tightened his arms around her waist. “Marry me, Lottie? For real this time.”
“Take me to Scotland. Let’s get married where you grew up,” she said.
“That sounds like the best plan anyone has ever had in the history of plans.”
Ezra butted his head between them and whuffled in her face, making Lottie laugh again. “Hi, boy. Want to go to Scotland? I’m sorry that means you’ll be tied to the back of the carriage again.” They threaded their fingers together and headed to the waiting carriage. “Besides, there’s still Montague to deal with. I don’t know what you have planned, but I want to see it through to the end.”
