Page 118 of Boomer
His jaw clenched. He looked down at her, and every part of him ached to kiss her. To say fuck it and ask her to choose him.“But do I want you to choose me?Fuckyes, I do. I want it like I want air, but that would be the most selfish goddamn thing I’ve ever done. You’ve worked too hard. You deserve to choose for yourself.” He closed his eyes, trying to stay upright against the pull in his chest. His voice dropped, hoarse and true. “Don’t make this decision for me. Don’t make it for Ansel. Make it for you. For your future. You’ve earned the right to put yourself first, Taylor.” He took a breath. “You also have a right to know what I’ve been holding back, not because I didn’t trust you with my heart…I do. But it’s not just shame and guilt, Taylor. It’s fucking fear that you’ll see all the ugly parts and not be able to see past them to the man I am because of you. I’d not only give up the SEALs for you, but I’d also give up my life.”
She gasped softly. “Boomer…Carter…” Her voice trembled, barely above a breath. “Mein Herz,” The German slid from her lips like a vow, and it slammed into his chest so hard he nearly staggered. His throat locked tight. She reached for him, her hand brushing against his chest, then resting there. “I’ve learned so much from you,” she whispered. “Your freaking patience… your emotional vortex that takes me in and holds me like I have all the space in the world to breathe.” Her eyes burned. “What you’re holding back? It belongs to me.” She stepped in closer. “Youunderstandme. It’s fucking mine. Whether you tell me now, or when you have the time and space to work it out yourself. It will remain mine. Before. After. In between.”
He had to hold on to his composure, but she saw all the emotion he couldn’t hide. She reached up and gently laid her fingers over his mouth, silencing the protest that hadn’t even formed yet. Her touch was soft. Final. “Where we go from here is up to us. Not anyone else.” She let the words settle between them before continuing. “You’re right. This is my decision, and I’ll weigh it, think about it, and come to my own conclusions. I would never dishonor you with anything else.” Then, quieter.“So, you go home, and you find your balance, make your decision.” She swallowed, eyes shining. “Then come back to me, tell me what you can live with…” Her voice caught, but she didn’t stop. “And I’ll tell you whatIcan live with.” She laced her fingers into the front of his vest, grounding herself in him, and he’d never felt more cherished. “Together we’ll figure it out. Whatever it is, because I trust you.” Then, no hesitation. “I love you, and there is nothing outside of the two of us that will influence what we want.”
A knock. Then Iceman’s voice came through the cracked door. “We’re wheels-up the day after tomorrow. Assemble out front in fifteen for the final interdiction, and then the two of you have some downtime.” His gaze lingered on Taylor. Softened. “One last mission, Hoffman. See you outside.”
The door closed.
Taylor didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Just held him like he was something she would never let go of.
He held her like she was his own heart, and he couldn’t believe her courage and trust in him. He had a personal mission to complete.
“My mother wants to see you before you go,” she added, voice gentler now. “And Ansel’s been asking about you ever since that night you saved his life.”
He swallowed hard.
Her expression was torn,deep lovethreaded throughtoo many choices. Still, she looked at him like he was a factor she would never subtract.
“You sure don’t make anything easier, my love. But I’ve never been one to shy away from hard decisions.”
She rose onto her toes, pulled him down into the kiss he’d been starving for. It wasn’t fast. It was rooted.
Her voice was soft. Steady. “I have a lot to consider. If you think for one second that you’re not one of those things, Carter, you’re dead wrong.”
She reached up, cupped his face. That single gesture wrecked him. He didn’t even try to hide it.
“We’ll take some time. Even if it’s apart. Maybe we’ll make rational decisions…”
“Or maybe not-so-rational ones.”
She held his gaze. “I respect you, and you always wait for me. So, I’ll wait for you.” She paused, her eyes locking with his. “How does that sound?”
She would wait for him. He was a priority in her life.
Something inside him cracked wide open. A dam broke, years of silence, shame, buried truths, and all the evidence of his worth came rushing in like a flood. It filled him so fast, so hard, he couldn’t breathe.
She looked toward the door. “Let’s go finish what we started, Carter.”
He nodded, well aware that she meant more than the task force mission, more than the jobs they performed.More. It was always more with this woman, and he was committed to the promise in her eyes, to the hope in his heart, and to the love that was spilling out. In his chest, steady and certain, three words burned. He released her and stepped through the door with her.
19
Taylor’s mommet them at the door again, and she ushered them inside without a word, her eyes softer, more welcoming. Taylor touched his arm, but he held back. “Let me talk to Ansel first. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Boomer watched them walk down the hall to where her dad was sitting. His bruises, like his wife’s, were healing. Taylor kissed him on the temple.
Boomer headed to Ansel’s room. The door was open, and Ansel launched himself at Boomer. “You came back!”
Boomer caught him, his chest tight. “Yeah, of course I did. I promised.” They had built up their relationship over text. It wasn’t ideal, but it was as real as hell.
He released the boy and sat him on the bed. “Listen, I wanted to say how sorry I am that your sculpture got smashed.”
Ansel’s brow furrowed. “It didn’t get smashed. I won first place.” He slipped off the bed and dashed to his bookcase. “It’s right here. Oma said it should be set in a place of honor.”
His chest hurt. So, the old lady had come around. “But I saw the shards on the floor?”
“Oh, you mean my last maquette. That got smashed, but my project was already at school waiting to be judged in the contest.” He looked away shyly. “I wanted to show you the finished project, but I was scared it wasn’t good enough.”
