Page 78 of Boomer
When the dust settled and the team regrouped near the evac point, Iceman stalked over. Everyone else cleared the hell out of the way.
Boomer barely had time to unbuckle his vest before Ice had a fistful of it. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Boomer snapped. “I’m trying to hook up with Taylor, and we’ve missedevery damn time.I have afuckingdick ache that won’t die, I haven’t slept, and I’m walking around Lisbon with a loaded weapon and no safety. IknowI was off. I’m sorry.” The words echoed, raw and furious.
Iceman’s pale eyes narrowed, then…softened. He let go of Boomer’s vest.
A long beat passed.
Then he said flatly, “When you get back there, I’m officially removing the cock block. Get it done. Get your head back in the game. You got that?”
He barked out a stunned laugh. “Are you ordering me to have sex with her?”
Iceman didn’t blink. “Goddamned right I am.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “Is that…an actual directive?”
Iceman sniffed and said, deadpan, “I had blue balls for a year. Try that on for size, you lightweight.” Boomer stared at him, mouth slightly open. Iceman crossed his arms. “A year,Finley. You start hallucinating affection. Clouds get suggestive.Buttered toast makes your hands sweat.” Boomer choked on his own breath. Iceman added, “One time I almost humped a goddamn couch cushion.” He paused. “It was shaped like a rose. ’Nuff said.”
Boomer lost it. Bent over at the waist, gasping. “What the actual fuck.”
“Don’t judge me,” Iceman said, as serious as a funeral. “I survived. Barely.”
Boomer wiped his face, still laughing. “You’re insane.”
“Go fix it before someone gets hurt. Namely your dick.”
Boomer, still doubled over, said, “Jesus Christ?—”
“I wasn’t proud,” Ice added calmly. “But I survived. Don’t be me. Go home. Get naked. Get tactical.”
Boomer wiped his face with both hands, breath shaking from how hard he was laughing.
“Fuck me,” he said, grinning, “you’re gonna put this in my eval, aren’t you?”
“Only if you fail the follow-through.”
Boomer was still reeling from Iceman’s deadpan revelation when Preacher stepped in, arms crossed, expression grave. “I took a celibacy oath during my dick ache with Luna.” He nodded slowly, like he’d lived through combat and worse. “Same shit. Different woman. Blue balls? Brother, I baptized mine in silence.”
GQ ran his hand through that perfect hair with both hands. “Celeste had me so twisted, my sheets got me off.” He held up one finger. “Iwashedthem. Twice.” He shrugged. “Didn’t help.”
Kodiak leaned against the rail of the ship. “Kaiya was pissed at me the entire first week of the op.” He laughed, low and feral. “Then she couldn’t stop looking at me like I wasprey.I thought I was going to burst into flames during debrief.”
Hazard shouldered GQ aside. “You all saw the train wreck with Leigh.” He dragged a hand down his face. “Had tobodyguard her. Then again. Then we shared a room with a connecting door while we argued like fire and water, and she wore those little silk shorts.” He stared off into the void. “Even the arguing turned me on.”
Skull swiped his hand over Bones. “Walker was everywhere. We had to share a bathroom.” He shook his head like he still had flashbacks. “She was enterprising.Relentless.”
He paused. “Just about killed me. I thought I was going to pass out from blood loss. Not from injury. From boners.”
Boomer looked at them. One by one. The Brotherhood of the Miserably Blue-Balled.
Then from the corner, Breakneck, calm and composed, offered flatly, “I have no sympathy for any of you.” He looked toward the incoming chopper, deadpan. “I’m young. Hot. Emotionally grounded and not getting laid either. Welcome to hell.”
“I guess I’m in good company, then.”
Iceman muttered, “Goddamn circus of repressed dickheads.”
Twenty minutes later, Boomer stepped off the bird, fingers still buzzing with residual adrenaline and frustration.
