I drag my fingers through his hair, rinsing out the suds. “Do you know how happy you make me? How good you are to me?”
His spine snaps erect, his face lifting high enough that I can’t reach the top of his head. He turns his cheek to me. “Darcy, don’t.”
“I heard you yesterday.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice bounces off the walls.
“I won’t have you blaming yourself, Benjamin. You got angry that day, yes. You said a lot of things you didn’t mean. So did I. We handled all of this so poorly, but that is not the reason I’m not pregnant right now.”
He’s silent for a really long time, long enough that I’ve moved on to washing more of him. I caress his arm with soap, careful around the jagged slits where broken glass once covered most of him. He doesn’t complain.
“I know you may…you may not believe me, but—”
“You wanted the baby,” I say for him, and his silence confirms it. I’m oddly relieved to be speaking openly about this. “I know about the nursery.”
His face tilts enough that I can see the uneasy look in his eyes. “You do?”
“Yes, I do.” I lift on my toes and kiss the curve of his jaw, where rough stubble has begun to grow. “It’s a beautiful gesture.”
“I was going to surprise you,” he says.
“Which is why I love you…more than anything the world, Benjamin. We both lost a lot that day, but we didn’t lose each other. I won’t let you hurt yourself over this.”
“Everything is so different now. A week ago, our lives were significantly different, and now, we’re back…back to what we’re used to. Except it’s worlds away from that.”
“We need to take care of each other, do this together. It’s the only way I can stand this.”
He nods, slowly, and clasps the back of my neck. “This is forever, Darcy Scott. I’m here.”