Page 150 of Cara
Dread spills from his eyes. “Don’t make me do this.”
“If you give a damn about me, you’ll make sure Xavier boards that plane, too.” My lips quiver. “He’s never known freedom, Bo.”
“You think he’d be able to go on without you?”
“You make sure he does. Keep him breathing. Isabella will give him a reason to live.”
“And you?”
I approach the vanity, my hands trembling as I pull open the drawer, uneasily grabbing the plastic casing that clutches a capsule I took from the armory the day after the attack in the yard. Stuffing certain death into my pocket, blood stiffening the denim, I turn to Bo. “I’ll figure a way out.”
It’s not a lie. Not completely.
The door pushes open.
Bo turns to see who’s there… I don’t.
As our friend withdraws from the room, the door creaks shut and clicks, enveloping us in silence. A heavy weight settles in my chest, a desperate attempt to seal off my heart. To forgetall the dreams I once held dear, all the visions of us that filled my mind.
I’m quickly constructing a fortress, brick by painful brick, to prepare myself to face the man I love.
Nothingcan prepare me for what I see.
Xavier Marcello without hope.
“I don’t need an hour,” he says.
I nod, relieved to hear it. “Neither do I.”
For a home I never wanted, my eyes do linger on the few precious items I loved. The books that Courtney let me read to her, knowing how much I needed their escape. Remnants of our past, carefully preserved by Xavier during my absence. Our many photographs. Snapshots of two people deeply in love. Some taken five years ago, others just yesterday, all of it so different from the aching silence we’re barely existing in now.
Out of all the things in this room,heis what I need to remember.
Xavier extends his arm, fingers flaring when I hesitate to place my hand in his, as if it pains him to think I'm afraid of him. I'm not. I could never be. He pulls me the rest of the way, right up to him, his index finger tilting my head to meet his gaze, and despite the lifelessness in his eyes, his mouth claims mine with devastating force. Hard and solid, meant to brand me with its presence.
I don’t know how I manage to smile or find comfort in the softness of his lips as they drift over mine, slower and slower, lingering only to keep us connected. To freeze us in a moment we can remember. His eyes are squeezed shut when my fingertips graze his pale face.
“Don’t think about it. Let’s go.”
Xavier nods, his jaw tightly clenched, struggling to contain whatever words are pulsing behind his lips. Lacing our fingers together, I switch off the bedroom light, the faint glow of our past flickering out as we step into darkness.
Bo and Dante are waiting by the cars, looking on the verge of vomiting, sickened by the years of fighting for it all to come to this. Dante sobs in my arms as I approach him, somehow mustering the strength to hold it together better than he does. He shakes his head, lost for words, as I gently pull away and give him a reassuring nod. Bo leans in closer, whispering to my husband. Xavier’s nod of agreement is slow and mechanical. A marionette operating without a soul.
And I don’t even think it’s a front.
I don’t think he’s capable of a mask anymore.
Bo stares at what’s left of the warzone we unleashed tonight, shaking his head and pressing a hand to his mouth, struggling to hold himself together. “All this for fucking nothing.”
“Not nothing,” I whisper. “Notnothing.”
Dante looks ready to rip the motor right out of this vehicle to keep us from going. “Promise me you’ll find a way out of there, Sophie. They didn’t go through all this trouble to kill you. It’s your father. You’re useful to him. You have skills. Tell him what I taught you.”
“One lesson in coding isn’t going to convince him.”
“Then you lie through your goddamn teeth, you hear me? These people don’t kill those who have a purpose to them.”
“Everything I learned, I learned fromthatman, Dante.”
