Page 18 of Creed
“I do. The guy did this to the kid, and now, he’s gonna pay for it.”
It felt wrong. All of it. It felt like we were tearing a family apart instead of helping, and when the kid started crying, it nearly broke me. I hated seeing him so upset, especially after everything he’d been through. I hated seeing the father so distraught and pleading for us to let him go. I hated all of it.
I managed to keep it together until I got home. Once the door closed behind me, I sat on the floor in my kitchen, still in my uniform, and just unraveled. I didn’t call anyone. Didn’t answer texts. I just sat there alone, crying and second-guessing my decision to be a police officer.
And then Jameson showed up.
He didn’t knock. He just walked in like he belonged there. He was carrying a brown paper bag full of Chinese takeout, a grocery sack with my favorite sour gummies, chocolate chip cookies, and kettle chips, and a single bouquet of wildflowers wrapped in butcher paper.
He dropped it all on the table before coming over and picking me up off the floor. He carried me into the bedroom, and as soon as he lowered me to the bed, he ordered, “Get undressed.”
I didn’t argue. I didn’t have it in me, so I did as he said and started to undress. He slipped into the bathroom and turned on the hot water, filling the tub. After tossing in some of my favorite scents, he came back in and said, “Go soak a bit. I’ll be here when you get done.”
I nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. I eased into the tub and stayed there until the water went cold. I got out and dried off, and when I stepped back into the bedroom, Jamesonhad left my favorite pajamas on the bed. It was strange how much better I felt just having him in the house. He gave me a sense of peace that only he could give.
He didn’t ask what happened. He just made me a plate of food, and we piled up on the sofa. I ate a few bites, and when I finally found the words, he listened. His hand never left mine, and he didn’t try to tell me it would all be okay. He didn’t try to fix it.
He just sat there with me and let me cry it out. And when there was nothing left in me but exhaustion, he wrapped his arms around me, pulled me into his chest, and didn’t let go.
We curled up on the couch and watched some silly romantic comedy he didn’t even pretend to like. We broke open every single snack he brought, and we ate until my stomach ached. We didn’t make love, not that I would’ve complained. There was nothing better than being tangled up with him but tonight wasn’t about that. It was about Jameson being there for me in a way no one else had.
I fell asleep with my head on his chest.
I woke up in my bed the next morning to the scent of coffee drifting down the hallway. I looked over and was disappointed to find that Jameson wasn’t lying there next to me. I sat up, and that’s when I noticed the note on the nightstand. There wasn’t much to it. It just said, ‘See you soon.’
But that was the moment I knew.Hewasn’t just some guy I was seeing. He was something more. Much more. He could walk into the darkest part of my day and somehow still make it feel like light.
And I’d walked away from that.
Now here I was, years later, divorced, broken, and heading to a bar I didn’t want to go to, all the while wondering if the man I once loved still thought of me, too. I shouldn’t have been thinking this way.
I’d left because I had to.
I hated being a secret. I hated knowing that we couldn’t have a real future—not with my badge and his club. They would always pull us in opposite directions.
But sitting in that car, watching the road blur past, I couldn’t help wondering what would’ve happened if I’d stayed. If I’d fought a little harder. If I’d told him how much I loved him and how much it hurt to leave.
“Okay, missy.” The sound of Laura’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. “What’s going on with you over there?”
“Nothing,” I lied. “I’m just a little tired.”
“Tired? It’s not even eleven yet.”
“Ha! I’m usually in bed by nine,” I scoffed. “But that’s not the kind of tired I’m talking about.”
“Oh, I get it.” Laura threw the car into park and killed the engine. “You’ve been through a lot.”
“Yeah, well, I brought it on myself.”
“Oh, don’t you even think of going there. We both know this isn’t all on you.”
“No, but a lot of it is.” I looked at her and sighed. “I should’ve never married Brian. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I get it. He was a safe bet.”
“But I didn’t love him. I should’ve waited. I should’ve waited until I found someone who I really loved and who really loved me. Then, maybe it wouldn’t have been so hard when the hard times came, and when I lost my mind, I wouldn’t have to wonder whether or not my husband had my back.” I shook my head. “But then, I wouldn’t have Austin and Chrissy, and I couldn’t imagine life without them, even if they hate me.”
“Oh, wow. You just went down the entire rabbit hole.”
