Page 24 of She Used to Be Nice
“That’s a cute idea!” Morgan said. “And I agree on the dusty pink. That’ll match the flowers, too. We’re getting bouquets of soft pink roses and ivory ranunculus, tied together with a gold band.”
“Ranunculus,” Avery repeated, holding back laughter. “That sounds like the name of a dinosaur.The Ranunculus,” she began in a dramatic, vaguely British nature documentary voice, “with its slender neck and tail hung low—”
“Ranunculus is actually a very common bridal flower,” Blair said, unamused.
Avery stifled an eye roll. She could’ve sworn Blair had a sense of humor once.
“You should mix in some anemones and hellebores, too,” Blair continued. “They’re in-season and very popular for the winter.”
“Definitely,” Morgan agreed. “They’re kind of expensive, but maybe now I can consider them. Noah’s connection to the venue alleviated so much financial stress.”
Avery’s heart seized, startled by the sound of his name.
“Yes, I heard about the amazing discount!” Blair said, a smile curling on her lips. “He issogenerous.” She turned to Avery. “Last month, he got us a table at Sons of Essex and paid forallthe alcohol.”
Avery couldn’t have given less of a shit. “Wow. Cool.”
“He’s also so hot.” Blair folded her lips together and made ammmmsound as she sank deeper into the couch. “He’s a tall drink of iced tea, that boy.”
Avery’s eyes darted around the room in frantic search of the wine bottle. Noah was not hot. He was a predator. He reminded Avery of this guy she once saw on an episode ofWorst Roommate Everwho was so smart and charming that he could trick people into living with him until they found out he was secretly a creepy serial squatter.
“You’re such a sucker for tall guys, Blair,” Morgan encouraged.
“He’s six-four! Whowouldn’tlove that?” Blair was practically swooning. “And I love blonds. Specifically Noah’s shade, where it’s, like, a dirty light brown. And hiseyes.”
His eyes.
Following Avery everywhere she went.
She took out her phone to reread Pete’s text message. She thought of that night at the bar: how he teased her so deliciously, how that final release made her see stars, how that glimmer of happiness thawed something deep and cold inside her. She’d give anything to do that again, anything to feel that again. Anything to get away from talk of Noah.
She sent him a text.hey, are you busy tonight? what are you up to?
Her phone buzzed almost immediately. Avery had to laugh at Pete’s lack of chill. Usually, a two-second reply time would make Avery want to ghost; a guy that was too eager tended to be looking for more than she was willing to give emotionally. But right now, in her desperation, she was grateful for Pete’s urgency, regardless of what it might mean. The faster she could have sex with him, thefaster she could convince herself that Noah didn’t have power over her anymore.
Not much,Pete replied. Chillin at home on the island. Why?
Avery scratched her head. Getting to Staten Island would require two subway transfers, a boat ride, and then who knew how much farther? Avery hadn’t exactly spent her weekends exploring Staten Island like people explored Williamsburg. Was she about to do this?
She texted him back.send me your address?
“Sorry guys. I, um, just got an email from my boss.” Avery kept her brows creased and her fingers moving across the keyboard, because this was a very, very, very important email. “I need to run home to finish up some work.”
Blair flipped through a magazine without looking up. “Bummer!”
“You sure?” Morgan asked, frowning. “I was gonna order pizza …”
“Yes. I’m sorry.” Avery threw on her leather jacket and hoisted her tote bag over her shoulder. “Next week we’ll do Rubirosa’s—on me. Promise.”
She paused for a moment to stare into Morgan’s sad, downturned eyes. She hated that she was disappointing her best friend, but she hurried out of the apartment before Morgan could say another word. She pressed hard on the elevator button, the skin under her nail turning white, until the elevator rumbled and ascended from the lobby. As she waited for it, she closed her eyes to block out the sounds of Blair and Morgan’s conversation wafting into the hallway. Avery didn’t want to chance hearing Noah’s name again, even low and muffled through Morgan’s front door. She couldn’t bear the sound of it, the mere thought of it. It was just a reminder of how she’d have to spend the next eight months until the wedding lying through her teeth around him and everyone else. Pretending that she was okay.
8
AVERY TOOK THE MOSTagonizing forty-five-minute subway ride filled with inexplicable slowdowns and unintelligible loudspeaker announcements to the Staten Island ferry terminal. She hustled under the blue sign at the entrance and up the stairs to the boat just as the gates were about to close. She grabbed a seat next to a window on the lower level, and a beat later the boat took off across the bay. Choppy sea water splashed against the glass, mirroring the seasickness churning in Avery’s stomach. A group of tourists stood on the outside decks fighting the harsh December wind to take whatever blurry picture of the Statue of Liberty they could get. Avery related to their feelings of desperation as she willed the boat to go faster, to take her as far away from Noah as possible and closer to tonight’s distraction.
Twenty minutes later, after the boat docked on Staten Island, she was in an Uber on her way to a gray townhouse nestled between other gray townhouses. An empty, run-down pizza shop stood lifeless on the corner of Pete’s street, which stretched out underneath a row of telephone pole wires dangling dangerously low to the ground. Avery shook her head, wondering what the hell she was doing here. There was no reason she needed to go all the way to Staten Island for a booty call. It was even a trek to get to Brooklyn from her place on the Upper East Side, and subwayswentthere. She should’ve just picked up a guy at a bar or swiped mindlessly on dating apps, like she usually did.
But as she stood at the base of Pete’s driveway, feeling hopeful in a way she was too scared to acknowledge out loud for fear of the crushing disappointment later, she knew those guys wouldn’t be good enough anymore anyway. Because none of them would be Pete.
