Page 75 of She Used to Be Nice
Carl Schurz Park was half a block from Avery’s apartment, but the thought of leaving the safety of her depression cave made her want to die. Then she sighed. She figured she hated herself, notMorgan; in fact the only thing she had left at this pointwasbeing a good friend to Morgan. She threw on a Yankees cap and floated toward the park, where she found Morgan wrestling a chew toy with Scout’s mouth.
The park was lively today, with parents pushing oversized strollers and joggers in colorful spandex running up and down the pavement. New spring flowers bloomed in the gardens along the walkway. The benches overlooking the East River were occupied with people admiring the still blue water cut by a barge and the bridge standing tall in the distance. Avery got a closer look at the barge. It was actually the Honey Boat, a large vessel filled with millions of gallons of the city’s wastewater, aka shit.
She pointed at Scout twirling around and rubbing himself into the grass. “He looks like he’s feeling better.”
“He is, thankfully,” Morgan said. She sounded tired. She adjusted her oversized sunglasses; Avery noticed her skin underneath lacked its normal retinol-treated shine. “I had to get a new credit card after that whole thing with the Bella Blue order, but the company accidentally mailed my new card to my parents’ address in Rhode Island instead of mine. So I’m still waiting for it. I had to use my dad’s card for Scout’s medicine. He wasn’t pleased with the cost.”
Avery’s chest ached. This dog could have died of dehydration and it would have been all her fault. She couldn’t take any more fucking up. Please someone make the fucking up stop.
Scout peered at her with his floppy tongue sticking out of his mouth. Avery flashed him a tiny smile to hide her anguish while Morgan fluffed his fur.
“Well, I’m glad he’s okay,” Avery said.
“Me too. Wiping his ass every hour was getting tiring.”
Avery scrunched her nose. “That’s disgusting, Morgan.”
“Hey, it happens. Especially if you want to be a mother one day. But maybe Pete can take diaper duty.”
Avery tripped on a rock, losing her footing. “We broke up, so that won’t be happening.”
Morgan slid her sunglasses onto her forehead like a headband to look Avery in the eye. Her face fell. “Really? Are you okay? What happened?”
Avery peeked at her phone to see if Pete had texted her, but her notifications were agonizingly empty. She wasn’t surprised. Why would he text her? She’d uninvited him from the wedding and from the rest of her life, and he had dignity. At this point, with everything she’d put him through, he would probably never speak to her again, only affirming that she was exactly as damaged as she thought she was. That she was as unlovable as she believed.
“Nothing,” she said. “It just didn’t work out. And I don’t want to talk about it.”
Morgan eyed Avery sadly, but soon the sound of Scout barking at their feet grabbed hold of her attention instead. Avery startled, jumped a small step away from him. It was so embarrassing that she’d never not interpret any sudden animal movements as threatening. But Scout had doubled his size since the engagement party and was officially big enough that Avery didn’t seem like that much of a baby for fearing the wrath of his jaws sinking into her flesh.
Morgan noticed Avery’s stone-cold expression and let out a laugh. “He’s harmless, Avery. Just pet him. Maybe it’ll help you feel better. Dogs tend to do that.”
Avery hesitated, pretended to busy herself by looking at her phone. “I don’t want to.”
“Just a little one?”
Avery sighed and stuck her arm out straight toward Scout’s back, keeping the rest of her body at a distance. Morgan gently led Avery’s fingers toward his fur. After a couple of strokes, Scout turned to face Avery and barked, making her recoil.
“He’s excited!” Morgan exclaimed. “He loves you. Look at his tail wagging like crazy.”
Avery shoved her hands in her sweatshirt pocket. “I’m good on the petting.”
Morgan shrugged, and suddenly her face broke into a massive grin. “Hey!” she called out. “What are you guys doing here?”
Avery followed Morgan’s line of sight.
No.Not now. Please, not now.
Noah stood several yards away across the path wearing a blue Humane Society vest with his arm wrapped around Blair in the same blue vest. They were surrounded by dogs wearing similar orange vests, the words “ADOPT ME” written in bold black letters on each one. Noah fed a brown short-haired dog some kibble while Blair massaged his shoulder, and Avery darted a scowl from Blair’s hand to Noah’s grin as he admired her. How was it fair that Noah was in this stable, loving relationship while Avery was just brutally dumped?Again?
“What’s up?” Morgan said enthusiastically to Blair. “I had no idea you were visiting. How long are you here for?”
Blair affectionately wiped a speck of dirt off Noah’s vest. “Just until tomorrow. I’m here to start looking at apartments!”
Morgan gasped. Avery, too, made a tiny choking sound.
“Are you serious?” Morgan asked, her excitement building as quickly as Avery’s stomach was roiling.
“Yes!” Blair said. “We’re moving in together!”
