Page 95 of She Used to Be Nice
“Happy thoughts,” Morgan murmured. She inhaled deeply and released anohmsound, the exhale rustling her fake eyelashes. “Happy. Thoughts.” She met Avery’s eye. “And I wish the same for you.”
Avery gave her a small smile and carefully popped a piece of watermelon from the fruit salad into her mouth so as not to disturb her completed makeup. If Morgan was pissed about the timing ofAvery’sMetropolitanessay, she didn’t show it. If anything, she seemed proud. She also must have shown her parents the essay, because Gabriela and Joe each texted Avery their support after it went live. Avery’s mom, too, surprised Avery by calling her crying yesterday.
“I don’t want to distract you from the big day tomorrow,” she’d said between sniffles on the phone. “But I just want you to know that Dad and I are here.”
“I appreciate that,” Avery had replied. She was skeptical of what “here” meant, considering her parents’ views about sexual assault victims, but she was willing to hear them out after the wedding.
Strong gusts of wind pummeled the window, rattling the glass. Avery bit her lip and looked outside to see if the chairs were still standing. She was also, if she were being honest, looking for Ryan. She’d heard from Morgan that he was on his way, and already some guests were hanging out near the ceremony setup, waiting for the procession to begin. But she had no idea what she was going to say to him. She hadn’t exactly anticipated her story being out there the way it was now.
Morgan groaned as she watched the clouds rolling in outside. “I swear, if it rains …”
“Rain means a good marriage,” Emma called out from the corner, where she was getting her hair curled. The smell of burning hairspray tickled Avery’s nostrils. “Don’t they say that? Isn’t that a thing?”
“No, people only say that to make brides feel better when everything’s going to shit.”
The makeup artist swirled the final touches of eyeshadow into Morgan’s crease while a hairdresser pinned a strand of hair into the loose bun at the nape of her neck. The only thing missing was Morgan’s wedding dress, which hung in a white garment bag behind the dressing room door. But even now, wearing only her white silk robe, Morgan looked stunning.
“Well, at least you look gorgeous, and that’s all that matters,” Emma said. She dabbed a budding tear away. “Oh, no, my makeup …”
Morgan pointed at her. “Save your tears. If you’re not all crying as I walk down the aisle, I’m gonna go back up and walk down again until you are.”
Emma shifted her eyes to Avery before burying her face in her phone. She hadn’t said anything else to Avery since the bachelor party in Colorado, merely tolerating her presence on various last-minute text threads and email chains with the other bridesmaids. Nor had she said anything about Avery’s essay or Noah’s response. Today was probably not the day to talk about all of that anyway, but Avery couldn’t help but feel the presence of a massive elephant in the room regardless.
When Morgan’s makeup was finished, Avery helped her step into her wedding dress, then smoothed down a crystal twisted out of place. With the last button secured, Morgan stared at herself in the mirror and fanned the tears from her face.
“I’m a bride,” she choked out.
Morgan turned around to face the bridesmaids admiring her with awestruck gasps while a photographer snapped pictures of everyone’s reactions. Now that Morgan was ready, the ceremony could finally begin.
The bridesmaids headed outside. The sky was still gray and bloated with rain, but everyone remained optimistic that the bright white crack between the clouds would soon turn to blue. They hid behind a barn around the corner from the ceremony space, shielding Morgan from the guests’ and Charlie’s view. By now, most guests had filed in and were seated on the chairs facing the altar, filling the air with soft murmurs of conversation.
“You ready?” Avery asked Morgan, flicking a blade of grass off her spaghetti strap.
Morgan took a long, deep breath, then exhaled into a smile that lit up her whole face. “I’ve been ready since I met him.”
Avery put her arm around Morgan’s waist, gave her a squeeze. Then Avery settled into her spot toward the back of the line of bridesmaids and held her flowers low at her hips as instructed by the wedding coordinator.
Suddenly Emma turned around to face her. “I hope you’re happy.”
Avery’s heart thudded. “What?”
Emma rolled her eyes. “As if we didn’t read your essay destroying Noah’s character.”
Emma faced forward again and said nothing else. Avery remained silent, unsure of what to say back, if anything, in this cramped, intimate space. Why did Emma only confront her when Morgan was out of earshot, the processional was starting to unfold in front of them, and they couldn’t cause a scene?
“Let’s not right now,” Avery whispered as quietly as she could.
Emma tossed a gaze over her shoulder. “So selfish,” she muttered.
Avery was tempted to spit back a response. To defend herself or beg for understanding or call Emma a bitch. Then she remembered what Dr. Banshol had told her last week, something about building her self-esteem and not deriving her value from other people’s criticisms. She decided against reacting; instead she fluffed up the flowers in her bouquet while repeating Dr. Banshol’s advice to herself like a mantra.Another person’s opinion of you is not a fact,Avery heard her therapist’s voice inside her head.What makes someone else more qualified to know you than you?
While finalizing her stance, Avery found Ryan’s eye across the lawn. Her breath hitched at the sight of him. He was one of the last guests to arrive; he held an envelope in one hand and kept his other hand tucked into the pocket of his slim-fit navy suit. He held her gaze for a beat before breaking away, but Avery couldn’t read his expression, if there was one of note. Maybe he didn’t realize that he was looking right at her.
A ray of sun suddenly warmed her shoulder, and she looked up. The clouds were finally beginning to pass, opening to reveal the clearest cerulean sky. Then, a few seconds later, the organs began to play.
After the ceremony, the guests were ushered to the cocktail hour held outside the reception hall on the patio, where lilies and other aquatic plants made their serene way floating across small pools. While the guests stood in line for the bar and congregated around tall cocktail tables, the wedding party gathered by the pond to take group photos before the sun set. Morgan and Charlie lined up in the middle, with Parker next to Charlie as the replacement best man and Avery next to Morgan as maid of honor.
“Wait!” Avery shouted at the photographer. She tilted her head back to study Morgan’s teeth, then dug a fingernail into her gum line. “You had a piece of food in there.”
