Page 78 of The Pakhan's Arranged Bride
Sitting in the steam-filled room, I lean back against the wooden walls and let out a low groan. “What am I supposed to do with you, little fox?”
With my anger gone I’ve realized one thing—I still want her.
And while she admits to making the choice to use me to get revenge for Miron did to her—maybe, just maybe, over time her feelings towards me changed and grew and now things are different.
I close my eyes, the heat searing against my skin, fresh sweat glistening over my chest and down my back.
I can’t give up on her. I need to understand what she’s thinking, what she went through to drive her to make these choices—I want to know everything about her.
After another cold shower, I get dressed, pulling on a pair of black jeans and a black T-shirt. My wet hair is slicked back. My mind is fresh and calm. The workout was the best thing I could have done for myself.
After roaming the house in search of her, I find her in the library, curled up in her favorite chair reading a new book.
“Did you finish the other one already?” I ask, glancing at the blue leather-bound book on the coffee table next to her.
She nods. “It was good. Although the ending wasn’t what I had hoped for,” she answers softly, struggling to make eye contact with me.
“We don’t always get the happy ending, do we? I guess it’s closer to real life than other books.”
She bites at her lip. “Real life can have happy endings too,” she whispers, setting the new book down on top of the blue one.
I pull the other armchair so that it’s facing her and sit in it, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees.
“Ulyana, what did Miron do to you to hurt you so badly that your thirst for revenge became this severe?” I ask, looking at her, my body relaxed, my voice calm.
This is her chance to open up to me, to be honest with me.
The way she handles my question now will determine the possibilities of our future.
And I really want a future with her.
Chapter 22 - Ulyana
When I looked into his eyes and saw the pain in those beautiful dark, blue-gray pools, pain as deep as the ocean, it shattered my heart. I did that. I’m the reason he feels betrayed.
And it’s because I did betray him.
Maybe not in the beginning; when this all started, we both stood to gain from the agreement. But as time went on, everything changed. I just wasn’t ready or willing to accept how things had changed.
But they did.
And I have feelings for this man.
And with the way he looked at me earlier—he had feelings for me, too. A connection that I betrayed.
After he left, I could’ve chased after him, but I knew better. I could see nothing good would come out of talking until he had a chance to think about what I’d told him—and to decide what he wants for himself now.
He has every right to be furious.
After his kind, gentle patience, his reassurance about our baby and promising to be there for me, I was still keeping secrets, using him.
I don’t know what I deserve, but I don’t deserve him.
I have no idea what to do with myself, to ease away the anxiety eating me alive. I’m such a fool, so selfish for doing this to him. I was so blinded by my hatred towards Miron I didn’t realize I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be. A person who uses people they are supposed to care about.
After a while, I seek refuge in the library, between the pages of a new book. But I can’t get into it. I can’t focus and I’m reading the same paragraph over and over again, my eyes constantly roaming to the door, hoping Benedikt will walk through it.
Two hours have passed since our fight when I hear his voice as he walks into the library. My body melts with relief, noting how calm he is, despite his eyes still holding a lot of emotion.
