Page 254 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 5
“Yeah. I’m going to need another drink though.”
“Do you want something to eat too? Ellen made a delicious chicken casserole for dinner last night and we have some leftovers.”
Her housekeeper, Ellen, was a great cook. And the thought of a home-cooked meal made my stomach growl. I nodded.
“Great. Go sit down and I’ll warm some up for you and grab you another drink.” She turned her back to me.
I retreated to the living room. Not just because I needed a minute to calm down. But it seemed like she needed a minute to compose herself too. I sat down on the couch. I was still in my sweatpants and t-shirt from practice. I’m pretty sure I smelled from running sprints with the team. And I probably looked like death after thinking I saw the dead walking along the busy streets of Manhattan.
I leaned forward, placing my elbows on top of my knees, as I stared at pictures of Penny’s happy family on the wall. There were several framed pictures from James and Penny’s wedding day. I was standing right next to James with a huge smile on my face. A fake one. But I wasn’t sure anyone could tell.
It should have been me.
I looked down at my hands. I wasn’t a homewrecker. I wasn’t actually here to sleep with Penny, despite my wandering thoughts. The only reason she’d invited me over was because she’d offered to help me with online dating. I didn’t want to date. I didn’t date. Ever. But I couldn’t pass up spending more time with Penny. We rarely ever hung out one on one. And here she was, offering. She’d even said she wouldn’t tell anyone about it. Our little secret project. One I figured I could drag out for as long as I wanted. Because we didn’t have the same end goal.
Penny pictured me having a life like her and James. Happily married with two kids.
But I didn’t want that. I would never get married. And I’d never have kids. I’d given up on that dream when I buried the love of my life.
“Here you go,” Penny said, setting down my glass and a plate piled high with steaming deliciousness.
“Thanks, Penny.” I grabbed the plate of food instead of downing another glass of scotch. I practically sighed around my first bite.Definitely better than takeout.
“I thought you were coming from work?” Penny asked.
“I did.”
She stared at my sweatpants but didn’t say anything else about it. “So, bad day at the office?”
I shrugged. “Something like that.”
She sat down next to me and pulled her legs up beneath her on the couch. “I was really excited about tonight. Honestly, I’ve been looking forward to it for months. And when you finally didn’t ditch me, I figured it meant you were excited too. But we don’t have to set up a dating profile for you tonight. We can just talk.”
I really would prefer just talking to her. “How are you doing?” I asked. She’d been through a lot. We’d almost lost her. We’d almost lost her baby boy, Liam. And I could see it in her eyes. She was still holding on to something there. And I think maybe when we almost lost her, it reminded me of losing Brooklyn. Maybe that’s why I kept feeling like I saw Brooklyn on the streets. Like my past was somehow swirling with my present.
“I’m good.” She laughed and pretended like she meant it. “I kind of thought we’d talk about whyyou’reupset today.” She leaned back on the couch, resting her head in her hand. “Or why you keep postponing trying to find your soulmate.”
Soulmate.The word sounded bitter instead of hopeful. I took another bite of casserole to stall. Because talking led to the truth. I wasn’t going to talk to her about Brooklyn. One of the reasons I liked hanging out with Penny was because she didn’t know about my past. “No, let’s go ahead and set up this dating profile you’re so obsessed with.” Besides, actually going through with this was the best pretense I had to keep coming back here and hanging out with her.
“Really?” A huge, crazy smile spread across her face. Fine, she didn’t really look crazy. She was always beautiful. And Icould easily imagine pushing her back on the couch. My fingers tangled in her hair. That blush on her cheeks just for me. I’d kiss that smirk right off her perfect face. And I wouldn’t need to go on some stupid dating app and play pretend. I knew for a fact that I’d never find someone. But it wouldn’t be half bad having Penny to keep my bed warm.
I hated that I wanted that. But I couldn’t deny it was true. She reminded me so much of Brooklyn. She was sweet and kind and hopeful, despite everything she’d been through. Her laugh filled a room in the same way Brooklyn’s had. Her voice even sounded similar. I wasn’t sure if it was a slight Delawarean accent or what. But when she spoke, I always found myself drawing closer to her. Like she could help me remember everything I’d lost. Even if just for one night.
Yeah, I knew I shouldn’t have been thinking about James’ wife in that way. But I didn’t feel like chastising myself right now. And I couldn’t sit there and deny that she was hot. Gorgeous with a whole lot of crazy currently directed at me.
“Stop it,” I said.
“Stop what?” she asked. But her smile didn’t disappear. If anything, it grew.
“Stop staring at me like you’re about to do something weird.”
Penny laughed. “I’m not doing anything weird.Youcame tomefor help.” She rubbed her hands together in evil joy. “So what dating app were you thinking? I’m a little out of my depth here. James and I met before this whole online dating thing had gotten popular. I never got to experience any of that.”
“I thought you said you knew what you were doing.”
“I do.” She laughed. “Forget everything I just said. I’m a very skilled matchmaker. You came to exactly the right place. And I know which app I want to use. I saw a commercial the other day about compatibility and percentages. Apparently true love…”
True love? Give me a break.“Yeah, I’m out,” I joked and pretended to start to stand up. But I wasn’t going anywhere. Joking around with her was one of my favorite things.
