Page 311 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 5
“One-star?”Fuck that.
“Just tell me what happened.”
“She tried to set my dick on fire!”
I heard Rob laugh and turned around. All our friends were standing in the archway staring at us.
“So we only caught the last bit of that, and we’re all going to need this whole story,” Rob said. “Who did what to your dick?”
For fuck’s sake.“Penny sent me on a blind date from hell and the girl knocked over a candle into that complimentary oil you dip bread into. It burst into flames. Then she proceeded to fling the flaming oil right onto the front of my pants.”
“On purpose?” James asked with a straight face.
“No.” I laughed.Huh.“Maybe.”
Mason slapped me on the back. “We’ve all been there, man.”
“I’ve never set your dick on fire,” Bee said.
“I just meant going on a blind date from hell.”
Bee slapped his arm. The two of them met on a blind date. As their story went, it wasn’t a perfect start. But in no part of their blind date had Mason’s dick been set on fire. Not sure theywould have gotten married if that was the case. Unless they were into some weird shit I didn’t know about.
“Maybe your second date will be better,” Mason said.
Oh God.Was he seriously insinuating that Ash and I were meant to be, just like him and Bee? He couldn’t be more wrong. Bee was a sane person.
“So let me get this straight,” Rob said. “This girlaccidentallytried to set fire to your cock?” He put accidentally in air quotes. “What the hell happened before that? I feel like there had to be a reason.”
I shrugged. “She showed up super late in a sweaty sweatshirt. Then was embarrassed about her outfit and started stripping in the bathroom…”
“And why do you know she was stripping in the bathroom?” Penny asked.
“Because she was taking forever so I followed her in.”
“Of course,” she said, resting her chin in her hand. “Please continue.”
“She was drying the sweat off her sweatshirt with the hand dryer.” I held up my hand. “It’s not important. I would have freaking walked out right then. But she dropped the bomb that she was going through a divorce with…Cupcake.”
“Cupcake?” Rob said. “No flipping way.”
“Who’s Cupcake?” Penny asked.
“This dick we went to high school with,” I said. “Anyway, I felt bad about how the date started out and the fact that she’d been married to that idiot, so I decided not to walk out. And we were having an okay discussion until she figured out who I was. She was super interested in the two of you.” I gestured toward Penny and James. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she was stalking you guys.”
Penny laughed. “Yeah right. So your date set you on fire because of me and James?”
“It was an accident.”I think.
“Mhm. What happened right before she set you on fire?”
“I was telling her about…” I cleared my throat. “Past relationships.” I’d almost let it slip. I’d almost just talked about Brooklyn. My stomach churned. And suddenly I felt like I was going to be sick.
“So you’re letting Penny set you up on dates now?” Rob asked. “Why? I just offered to be your wingman again.”
I waited for Penny to blab to everyone that I was on a dating app. Or James. Or Tyler, because apparently he knew too. But everyone stayed eerily quiet. “It was a one-time thing,” I said. “And I’m never doing it again.”
The smile on Penny’s face faded.
