Page 419 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 5
“That’s because you’re fighting it. Feel happy, mi amor. Be happy. You deserve everything in this world. You deserve to be happy if happiness finds you. Embrace it.”
I’d been through so much pain. And therapy. I’d spent years trying to piece myself back together after what happened with Cupcake. I felt like I was finally okay. And I wasn’t sure if I’d felt that way before Matt had crashed back into my life. I told him I couldn’t fix him. But what if he’d fixed me? I loved him for that alone. “But he can’t possibly love me. Brooklyn was his one great love.”
“Fairy tales.” She shook her head. “He’ll love you differently. The way you need to be loved. Different isn’t less.”
Different isn’t less.I didn’t know if that was true. But I wanted it to be. Because no matter how torn up I was inside, I didn’t knowhow to tell Matt no. I’d tried. But he’d broken down all my walls. I couldn’t get him out of my head. And I didn’t want to. Even though I knew he shouldn’t be there. Not in that way.God, what am I doing?“I miss her so much.”
“I know.” She pulled me into her side. “Me too.” She kissed the top of my head and yawned.
“It’s okay, Mama. You can go to bed. I’m going to be fine.”
She slowly stood up. Slower than she used to move. I tried not to let that worry me.
“You have nothing to fear.” She patted my cheek. “He already promised me he wouldn’t break your heart.”
“He did?” He’d promised her that? When?That night he slept over.
“Sí. He loves you too. A mother knows these things.”
He loves me too.I wanted her to be right. Desperately. And I didn’t really have any reason to doubt it. He’d asked me to be his girlfriend. I was the one pushing him away. Not the other way around.
My mom kissed the top of my head.
“Goodnight,” I said to her as she retreated back to her room.
I leaned my head back on the couch. “Give me a sign, Brooklyn,” I said into the silence. “Tell me it’s okay.” Because it hadn’t felt okay at her grave. It felt like I was stomping all over her memory.And I never wanted to do that. I loved her. I’d never had a friend like her before or since. Neither one of us was perfect though. She’d dated Felix when I thought it was pretty clear that I liked him. And now…I was going to date Matt.That’s okay, right? Please, just give me a sign.
My phone buzzed.
I looked down at a text from Matt. “Are you up? I need to see you.”
My heart started racing. If that wasn’t a sign, I didn’t know what was. “Actually, I can’t sleep.”
“Too busy thinking about me?”
I smiled. One of the many reasons why I was falling for him. He was good at making a heavy situation feel light. “Always.” I didn’t want to lie.
“I’m coming over now. Keep that train of thought. I have an important question for you.”
“What kind of question?”
“You’ll see.”
I wanted to be able to push him away. I did. But my body had a mind of its own. There were suddenly butterflies in my stomach instead of that twisting guilt. And my pulse was racing. I couldn’t turn him away even if I wanted to. Maybe Tanner was right. Maybe Matt and I were always supposed to be together. It wasjust a long, hard route to get there. But sometimes the hardest loves were the everlasting ones. The real ones.
Another text came through. “What are you wearing?”
I laughed out loud. “The usual. A very sexy pair of sweatpants.” I was crying a minute ago and now he had me laughing. I ignored the way my stomach twisted. I wasn’t just falling for him. I was in love with Matthew Caldwell.
“Perfect. Just the way I like you. Are you rocking that sexy bun too?”
“Don’t you know it. I’m all ready for you.” I was smiling so hard it hurt.
“Just for the record, whatever you’re wearing won’t be on for long.”
I felt my cheeks flush. “Is that your question? Whether or not I’m ready to go all the way?”
“I’d probably word it more on the lines of are you ready for me to properly worship your body. I hope the answer is yes to that. But that’s not my question. And it’s okay if you’re not ready.”
