Page 104 of Reaper's Ruin
Her fingers curled tighter. And in that moment, I almost said it. Almost told her that she’d ruined me in return. That she held more power over me than anyone else ever had.
But I didn’t.
Because if I spoke it aloud, it would be real.
And when she walked through that door...
It woulddestroyme.
But for now, for this brief moment in time, she was mine and I was hers.
And that would have to be enough.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Soraya
In the aftermath, we lay tangled together, breathless and panting. My body still hummed with lingering pleasure, every nerve ending alive in a way I’d never experienced before. The cool surface of the desk beneath me should have felt uncomfortable, but I was too consumed by the sensation of Rhyker’s weight against me, his heart thundering against his chest, his breath warm against my neck.
I’d never felt anything like that. I hadn’t known sex could be so consuming—so utterly undoing. Like something sacred and savage all at once, leaving me forever changed. Like being unraveled, thread by thread, then stitched back together with pieces of him woven into every inch of me.
My boyfriends back home had been nice, considerate, gentle. But this—what Rhyker and I had just shared—was something else entirely. Wild. Primal. A storm that had swept us both away.
A small, incredulous laugh escaped me as I stared up at the ornate ceiling. Had I really just had mind-blowing sex with an eight-hundred-year-old Reaper on the desk of my murderer? What even was my afterlife?
“What’s so amusing?” Rhyker asked, his voice still rough as he pushed himself up on his elbows, looking down at me with those storm-gray eyes.
“Nothing,”I smiled, reaching up to brush a strand of dark hair from his forehead. “Just... I never would have done this when I was alive.”
His brow furrowed slightly. “Regrets?”
“The opposite,” I said quickly. “Alive-Soraya was too cautious. Too afraid. I never tried out for sports teams or auditioned for the school play. I never asked for what I wanted. I just... existed. Waiting for life to happen to me.”
I traced the sharp line of his jaw with my fingertip, marveling that I could touch him like this. “Then you came along. Death itself. And somehow I found the courage to demand what I want. To own my desires.” I shook my head, smiling. “Turns out all I needed was to die to finally start living. I guess the threat of a Reaper popping out of the shadows at any moment to wipe you from existence or a door to God knows what opening up without warning... it changes your perspective. Makes you a little braver to seize the moment.” I smiled ruefully. “And I’m so glad I did. That was amazing. I’ll remember it in my afterlife no matter what awaits me.”
Something darkened in his eyes at my words—a shadow passing across his face. He pulled away abruptly, standing and walking to his discarded clothing.
“We should get dressed,” he said, his tone suddenly businesslike. “Lord Cassius could return at any moment.”
The abrupt shift in his demeanor was like a splash of cold water. I sat up, gathering my dress around me, absurdly self-conscious now that the heat of passion had faded.
“Right,” I managed, my voice smaller than I intended. “Of course.”
We dressed in awkward silence. I struggled to tie my dress, part of me wanting to ask for his help but the other part sensing the distance he put between us. It seemed to grow with each passingsecond, a chasm opening where moments ago there had been nothing but heat and connection.
“Are... are we okay?” I finally asked, trying to claim my voice again.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said finally, his back to me as he slipped on his jacket.
Five words. Five simple words that somehow hurt more than the dagger that had ended my life.
I wanted to argue, to remind him of how perfect it had been, how right it had felt. But pride kept my mouth shut, and I simply nodded, though he couldn’t see it.
When he turned back to me, his expression was once again the cold, detached mask of the Reaper I’d first met. Gone was the man who had whispered my name like a prayer, who had touched me with reverence and desire.
“You should go back to our rooms,” he said. “I’ll handle Lord Cassius when he returns.”
That snapped me out of my hurt. “No.”
