Page 24 of Freak Camp
Jake laughed, and though Tobias smiled too, it didn’t look like he was kidding.
He was still going to bring Tobias something awesome when April rolled around.But maybe he wouldn’t remind Tobias that it was his birthday.This was an idea that Jake would keep safe for Tobias until he could enjoy it himself.Though he didn’t know how that could ever happen.
***
Their next visit, acouple months later, started off with Dad storming angry.Jake left him in Reception shouting at the new receptionist—Ms.Hart didn’t look nearly as nice as Mrs.O’Donnell—while he went to find Tobias.In his pockets Jake had crammed a foot-long submarine sandwich and chips, plus a jumbo bag of M&Ms, ready to share along with the story of what had pissed Dad offthistime (Dixons, it always boiled down to Dixons).
But he couldn’t find Toby.
Jake scouted the yard, looking in all their usual spots, but there was no sign of Tobias.He was starting to get frustrated and a little worried, when he saw a guard making a round of the yard.
“Hey!”Jake jogged up to him.“Do you know where Tobias is?”
The guard raised his eyebrows.“Who?”
Jake clenched his teeth, feeling stupid and annoyed.“Monster, uh, 89UI6703.”
“Oh.”The guard glanced around.“You might look around the barracks.He’s been hanging there for the past couple of days.”
Jake found Tobias in the dark alley between two barracks, sitting with his knees pulled to his chest, his hands pressed into his armpits.He didn’t look up even when Jake said hi and crouched down next to him.
“Hey.”Jake leaned forward, trying to get a glimpse of his face.“What’s wrong, Toby?”
Tobias said nothing.Jake was about to ask if Tobias was pissed off and ignoring him for some reason—shit, why did this happen when Dad was angry too, and Jake just wanted to talk to someone who wasn’t throwing off sparks?—when Tobias whispered, so low he almost didn’t catch it, “Becca’s gone.”
A horrible pit opened in Jake’s stomach, and he dropped forward to his knees.He had forgotten Tobias’s mom would be dying.Tobias hadn’t mentioned it after that first time.“Shit,” he whispered.
Tobias pulled out his hands and rubbed the heels of his palms into his eyes.“She told me not to cry, but I already did twice.”
Jake wanted to get up and break things, to take Dad’s shotgun and shoot stuff up, which was how he felt whenever he thought about Mom dying.But he already knew there was no chance of bringing a gun to Tobias.He stared at his empty hands.“I’m sorry, Toby.”He hated it when people said that to him; it always made him want to hit them.He saw now that they did it because there was nothing else to say.
“Why?”said Tobias expressionlessly, and Jake realized he wasn’t crying.“She was a monster.That’s what happens to monsters.”
Jake grabbed his shoulder hard, angry for a reason he didn’t fully understand.“She was your mom, Toby.Doesn’t matter that she’s a monster, she was your mom.I’m sorry she’s dead.”
Tobias shuddered.He didn’t raise his head, but a moment later he slowly leaned his head against Jake’s arm.He still wasn’t crying, but his breathing was ragged.
Jake swallowed and nudged Tobias gently, not to push him off.“Hey, remember what we talked about?Maybe our moms are together now.”
Tobias looked up, blinking in confusion.“How?Your mom’s a hero.Mine’s a monster.They wouldn’t be in the same place.”
Jake shook his head.“Becca was a good mom too, even if she was a witch.I saw that.I think my mom could see that too and wouldn’t mind hanging around her.They could be friends.”He looked down at Tobias.“Like we’re friends.”
Tobias’s mouth opened.He stared at Jake with his widest look of astonishment yet, bigger even than when Jake told him about waffles.“Friends,” he repeated.Like he couldn’t quite believe it.Jake watched as his breathing went uneven again, and his eyes filled up.
He pulled Tobias against his chest, resting his head on top of Tobias’s as the little kid buried his face into Jake’s shoulder and his shoulders shook.Jake held him until he heard the guards start calling for him.He left both halves of the sandwich in Tobias’s hands.
He wasn’t sure what made him feel worse: how close Toby had been to crying, or the fact that he never really had.
***
Half an hour away fromFreak Camp, Dad noticed that Jake was only halfheartedly responding to his diatribe about fucking ASC bureaucracy.He stopped himself in the middle of another explicit description of Matthew Dixon’s character to glance at Jake.Dad half coughed, like he had to clear his throat to get the anger out.“You’re awfully quiet.”
Jake shrugged, not looking at him, still staring out the window.He’d been thinking, and something had occurred to him about Tobias’s mom.Something horrible that he couldn’t get out of his head.He didn’t really want to ask, but he had to know.“Dad—what happens to monsters in Special Research?”
Dad looked surprised, then his expression closed down.“Why do you want to know?”
I think Tobias’s mom went there.Jake shrugged.“Just wondering.It’s where you always go.”
