Page 87 of Freak Camp
“Unidentified, sir.”
The sneer on the Director’s face faded, and he looked thoughtful.“True.”He looked at Tobias, and even though he didn’t look nearly as irritated as before, Tobias couldn’t stop the slight tremors in his hands.“What did you have in mind?Bear in mind the restrictions I’ve put in place.”
Crusher shrugged, trying to look casual, but Tobias could see how the muscles had tensed in his arms, his hips rocking forward.“Just a little rough interrogation, sir.One more, just to be sure the freak’s not hiding something nasty behind that pretty face.”
The Director considered.Tobias found himself counting every soft click of the great clock set in the bookshelves, trying to bring his heartbeat down.
“I think that’s reasonable,” the Director said, slowly.“But remember the restrictions.”
Crusher grinned, and Tobias lost control of his breathing.“Yes, sir,” he said.“I can do that, sir.”
***
They hadn’t asked Tobiaswhat kind of freak he was in a long time.Tobias supposed that when he was Hawthorne’s pet monster, or the guards’ whore, or the Director’s project, it didn’t really matter what kind of freak he was.
This time was different.Terrifyingly different.There were five or seven men—Tobias couldn’t keep track, they seemed to change, and they kept a blindfold on him half the time—and they pushed him around, each taking a turn doing whatever they could to him, anything that wouldn’t mark him up too bad, lose him a limb, or scar his face.
After the blindfold went on—as well as the muzzle that kept his mouth open so he couldn’t bite down, even by accident—they started pushing him to his knees.Voices he knew, voices he didn’t still asked the question, taunting him toshow them he was a freakeven though at that point he didn’t think they expected anything.
If he had any gift, any power, he wished it would come now.He wished he could kill them all.Or that it could be over faster.Sometimes he just wanted it to be over, all over, that they’d push him past the point of feeling anything ever again and there would be nothing left to do but throw him in the incinerator.
By the time they got to waterboarding, Tobias wasn’t sure how he was still breathing.They had tried not to hit him hard enough to break anything, but he was pretty sure he had a couple of cracked ribs.And it was hard, so hard when they shoved his head into a dirty bucket, or pressed a wet cloth to his face, to wait until there was air to fill his aching lungs.
Why don’t you just fucking breathe, whispered the little voice that wasn’t numb and far away.It would be so easy.They would never notice.You might die anyway.
That sparked the old reminders.Jake.He had to stay alive, he had to keep gasping air through his abraded throat, raw from screaming and gagging.Jake had promised, and even though Tobias didn’t think he was coming back, knew he didn’t deserve Jake to come back, he couldn’t give up.That would be like saying he didn’t believe in Jake.
He was weeping, choking, breaking down, the thin numb edges in his mind dissolving and sliding toward blessed unconsciousness and even more blessed death (I’m sorry, Jake.I tried, I really did, but I can’t stop them), when Crusher pulled his head close.
“You want it to stop?”His fingers dug into Tobias’s throat under his collar.“I can make it all end.”
Tobias looked at him.It was just a movement of his eyes—motor function seemed to have cut out a while ago, and they had been passing him back and forth like a rag doll—but Crusher saw.He leaned so close that Tobias could feel his hot breath on his ear.
“Let me fuck you,” he breathed.“Just say yes, freak.He can’t touch me if you say yes.”
Tobias had thought he was past fear.Fear had slid away hours ago into numbness, into nothing at all.Now there was a rush of pure terror, of the sudden need to fight, to scream.But he couldn’t move his mouth quite right (fuck, did they break his jaw?), and all he could think wasNo, no, no, that’s Jake’s, only Jake, no no no.
Somehow he managed the word, the only word he wanted.“No.”
Crusher snarled into his face, his hand tightening around Tobias’s throat before he threw him back into another guard’s arms.
“Dump him again,” he said.“He can’t even fucking answer a question right.”
And every time after that Tobias still answered no until he couldn’t hear the questions anymore.
***
When Tobias openedhis eyes and the shadowy infirmary room came into focus, he had no idea who the gray-clothed monster sitting in the chair staring at him was.Then he remembered Kayla had taken on a new, uglier face recently.
“I heard them say you’re as dumb as a dog,” she said, monotone voice as flat as ever.“But it’s not true.You’re even dumber.”
Tobias blinked twice, wondering if this would make any sense if he hadn’t been kicked in the head so many times.
She continued to stare at him, face as expressionless as the blank white wall behind her.Maybe shapeshifters had to get used to showing emotion on new faces, or maybe this was just Kayla.“Even dogs know when to roll over and die.Every stupid animal does.Why don’t you, Tobias?”
He closed his eyes, but she kept talking.
“You stupid—lucky—stupidson of a bitch.If they gave me justonechance, I’d’ve jumped on it.I’d’ve gone through the incinerator by now, whoosh, where none of them could ever touch me again.Why don’tyou, Tobias?Is it true, then, do youlikewhat they do to you?”
