Page 26 of Bittersweet Revenge
“No,” I say harshly.
“I have that right. He tried to hurtme.”
“No,” I reiterate. Doesn’t she know I don’t want that for her? She deserves better than the shit we do.
“Why is it okay for you and not me?” she says as though reading my mind.
“Because this was always my path. That doesn’t mean it has to be yours.”
I don’t have to look at her to know she rolls her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll marry someone Dad approves of, someone in the life, and I’ll be just like Mom. I love her, but I don’t want to be just like her. I want to be my own person, and I damn sure want to hurt the man who tried to hurt me.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose as I drive. This is all so fucked up. “It’s not as easy as you think.” It fucks with my head afterward every time. I do it, and it’s a fact of my life, but that doesn’t mean it’s simple. It sure as shit isn’t the first time.
“Dad made you do it when you were fourteen.”
I shrug because that doesn’t matter. What he makes me do isn’t always right. I sure as hell don’t want her living by those standards. “I’ll think about it.”
“I’m doing it. If you don’t let me, I’ll tell Dad what happened.”
I throw her a look. I’d much rather deal with this without him, and she knows it. “You wouldn’t.”
“Watch me.”
“You’re cold.”
“And you respect me for it,” she says, and I do.
We get back to my place and get high together. She has her dorm, but there’s a room here for her as well. Still, she climbs into bed with me. The room is dark. She’s under the blanket, but I’m on top of it, on my back, with her on her side.
“I can’t believe I was so stupid. If Dean wasn’t watching…”
My muscles spasm. “You’re not stupid. The guy’s a fucking pig, and he’s going to die for it.”
She doesn’t reply right away, the two of us quiet in the dark until she says, “He’s different…Dean. Like us but not.”
“I know.”
“You like Dean.”
“Fuck off.”
She laughs. “You’re intrigued by him.”
“A little,” I lie. We both know I am. A lot.
“Don’t rob this from me, T. You know I deserve to do it.”
I sigh, but that’s the only answer she needs. I always fucking cave where she’s concerned. And the thing is, she’s right. She does deserve it, and she also needs to be able to take care of herself.
“I was going to leave with him…after that drink. We’d talked about it.”
I bite the inside of my cheek until I taste blood, rage filling me until I’m not sure I can contain it.
“Go to sleep,” I order, and then I lie there until she does. When I’m sure she’s passed out, I climb out of bed, slip my shoes on, and leave. I already know where Dean’s dorm is, and I managed to get a keycard to get into the building. No, I don’t likehim. Aislin was wrong about that, but I’m obviously obsessed with him.
I don’t cross a lot of people, but none of the ones I do question me. I swear my pulse kicks up just from standing outside his door. I don’t know what it means or why I feel it. Maybe just because of everything that went down tonight, and I know that without him, there’s a possibility Mike could have gotten my drugged sister out of the bar without me noticing.
What a fucking failure I am. I won’t ever make that mistake again.
