Page 58 of Bittersweet Revenge
I knock, and a moment later she pulls it open an inch, peeking through. “Oh, hey.” She lets me in.
“You’re not partying?”
“No. I’m not ready for that after what happened at the bar. If I hadn’t been drinking…”
“It wasn’t your fault. It’sneveryour fault. You should be able to drink without asshole predators trying to take advantage of you.”
“I know. I’m just…so angry. I try to hide it, and I want my life back. Nothing even happened to me, but it could have.”
“Something happened to you. Your trust was betrayed.”
Her gaze softens, like my words are getting in. “Yeah, I…I guess you’re right. When this is over, I’ll feel better. We’ll deal with it and—”
I frown. “Deal with it how?”
Her mouth stretches into a small o, her pupils expanding as she realizes what she said. “Nothing. I just meant when I deal with my shit.”
“That’s not what you said. You—”
“Let it go, Dean.”
“No. You said—”
“Let it go.” Her voice is softer when she says, “Please,” and it tugs on something inside my chest that I didn’t even know wasthere. She’s upset enough, been through enough. I don’t want to be the one to hurt her. If there’s anyone in this house who truly gives a shit about me, it’s her.
“Fine. I’m going to bed.” I turn for the door, but her words stop me.
“Do you want to stay? I mean, not in a way that will make my brother rage against the world…or in a way that you wouldn’t like since you’re not into girls, but…”
But she doesn’t want to be alone. I can see that now. Aislin is so fucking strong, but like the rest of us, she puts on a brave face. We all have secrets. None of us are exactly who we say we are, exactly who those on the outside see.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll stay.” I take off my shoes, and we walk over to her bed. Both of us lie on top of the covers, looking at the ceiling. “Your brother is being an asshole.”
“Is that supposed to be something new?”
“More than usual.”
“He’ll be better soon. Like I told you before, he has a lot of pressure on him—more than you’d ever know. He’s always trying to take care of a million things at once, and none of them are ever for him…well, except maybe you.”
I roll my eyes. “He doesn’t give a fuck about me.” Still, my heart is pounding. The ache that always lives in my chest lightens.
“Yes, he does. He probably doesn’t get it yet, just like you don’t, but I see it. Cil sees it.”
I have no words, so I don’t reply. What she’s saying can’t be real. There’s no fucking way…but I want it to be. Fuck Tiernan…because I want it to be.
“Sorry for asking you to stay, but…I don’t remember if I told you, when I was scared or uncomfortable as a kid, I would always sleep with Tiernan. Even when we were little, I always knew he would never let anything happen to me. And now…Ican’t explain it, but I kinda feel that way about you too. Maybe because you saw what Mike tried to do to me that night.”
Her words are a rope, thrown into that pit I live in, a life preserver, trying to pull me back up. “I’m not a hero.”
“Heroes are overrated. Give me someone who’s real, someone who will do whatever they have to do—good or bad—and I’ll take that over a hero any day of the week.”
“Go to sleep,” I say, hoping that ends this conversation. If not, I might get pulled out higher, out of those shadows. I don’t know who the fuck I’ll be if that happens.
“You’ll stay.”
“Yeah.”
She closes her eyes and drifts off, not seeming to care that the lights are on.
