Page 30 of Forbidden Ride
After unpacking and throwing some clothes in the washer, I finally take a shower.
My pussy is still tender, and it feels like I’m washing away our memories in exchange for a clean, fresh start I don’t want. It seems so nasty, but there was something about having William’s seed and scent on my skin that made me feel like we were still connected and bonded. After drying off, I can’t bear to put on my clothes, so I change right back into his sweatshirt and pants.
Basking in his scent and pretending he’s still with me, I scarf down a Lean Cuisine before falling into bed with a romance novel at eight. After getting zero sleep the past few nights, I should be tired, but I’m restless. My heart won’t stop racing and I can’t stop my brain drifting to William.
William.
Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?
I read the same page of my novel at least ten times before finally giving up.
How can I concentrate on the hero and heroine’s journey when I possibly had my own real-life love story in progress?
Finally, I shut off the light and force myself to get some sleep.
***
IMUST’VE TOSSED ANDturned for hours last night, because I’m exhausted. I kept dreaming we were making love. I’d shift, wake up, and reach over, expecting to find William beside me. Then I’d remember I was back at my place, cold and alone.
I drag my tired ass out of bed, take a quick shower, and start the coffee. I fluff up the pillows in the living room, strip the sheets, wash them, and make the bed.
I’m back in the kitchen on my second cup of coffee, feeling hollow. The light streams through the windows as the bright, clean sun shines down on all the pine trees.
I take another sip of coffee and take in the view, waiting for something. For what? What am I doing, sitting here alone without him?
What have I done? What am I thinking?
I miss him. The way he breathes. The way the dimple on the right is not as deep as the one on the left. I miss the sound of his laugh and how it blocks out every other noise around me.
Those eyes. His heart. The way his brain works. How he kissed my scar.
The way I can be myself around him. The way I feel like I’m home when I’m with him.
The way I know everything will be okay when he’s by my side.
Years from now, if my Lara ever came home after knowing someone for all of two days and said she was in love, I would’ve thought I’d tell her she was being unrealistic. That love takes time, that there is no way you can justknowif someone is right for you. One would think a rational mother would suggest her daughter get her head on straight and inform her that there is no such thing as love at first sight.
Now, I’m not so sure.
Itisrisky, and itiscrazy, but I think it might be true love. I think William is the soulmate I’ve dreamed about for years. Who cares if it only took me two days to realize it? Who cares what anyone else thinks about us? I think he’s the only man I’ve ever truly fallen in love with.
I slip into my heavy boots and grab my jacket and cell phone. I lock the door and step outside where the day is new and fresh.
The sun beats down, warming my back as I schlepp over the snow, through the peaceful valley behind my cabin. The path William mentioned still isn’t visible, but there aren’t many trees back here to get lost in. I let my feet take me right back to where I belong.
I hum, thinking of the last time I saw William, on my porch when he asked me not to give up on us. He seemed so confident, but I could tell that deep down it was hard for him to leave. He sacrificed his feelings and let me have the time I needed to come to my own decision.
It didn’t take long.
Clumps of snow drop to the ground on my left with muffled plops.I pause, shielding my eyes from the bright glare, and gaze up at the pine trees bordering my path. Icy clusters melting in the sun loosen from tree branches, shaking the limbs, causing more snow to dislodge and brush against glittering needles on the way down to the valley floor.
I breathe in the fresh, clean air, feeling renewed and invigorated.
My heartbeat quickens as I turn to see how far I’ve traveled. I can’t see my cabin anymore. The snow is sparkling, and the only footprints I see belong to me. I turn back and keep walking. I wonder if William had as much trouble sleeping as I did last night?
Something on the horizon catches my eye, and I stop. I didn’t bring my sunglasses. The sun’s reflection off the snow is blinding, but I think someone is waving. I turn, on the off chance that maybe someone is behind me, but I’m alone.
I turn back and can now make out the form of a man. My heart flips. Maybe it’s him. The most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, and the only man who’s ever truly seen me.
