Page 78 of Tripped By Love
Marco
WHISKEY AND RAIN
“Yeah, swimming through her goodbye
Misery loves company.”
Performed by Michael Ray
Written by Frasure / Thompson
Cassidy’s words spun through me, lickingthe flames back to life that had barely been subdued after the soft kiss in Maria Carmen’s kitchen. It filled me with images of Cassidy’s pale skin laid out below me and a glorious smile on her face.
Her hand on my jaw flexed the longer I took to respond. The desire and humor in her eyes started to fade into embarrassment. It had taken courage for her to go out on a limb like that, and I was being an ass. I was doing the one thing she hated most?someone protecting her when she didn’t need or want it. I placed my hand over the top of hers as it rested on my jaw. My other hand landed below her chin so she couldn’t hide her golden eyes from mine.
“I want you.” My voice was gravelly in a way only she seemed to bring out in me. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”
“But?”
“I can’t do a single night with you. Or even two or three. I’m afraid that if we took that step, I’d never be able to leave your side. I’d be a greedy damn bastard, Angel. I’d want all of you.”
Maliyah was right that I had feelings for Cassidy. They felt deep and unending, but I wasn’t sure if it was love because I’d had too little experience with that emotion. What I did know was if I took her completely, I wouldn’t be able to give her back to the world. I’d want her to be mine forever. But what I didn’t know was would she be okay with it? Would she let me be there at her side every day? And what did that mean for me and my job and the world I’d carefully crafted?
She searched my eyes, an ache in them that hurt me just to see it.
“I’m torn in so many pieces right now, Marco. I don’t know that I have anything else to give but a handful of nights.” She said each word as if she hated them. As if she wanted to say something different but couldn’t.
I rubbed a thumb along her lips, wanting to devour them again.
“I know,” I said gently. She had so many balls in the air it was unfair of me to expect more, but I knew that was what I’d want.
The ache inside her eyes turned to a different fire—anger fueled by humiliation I didn’t want her to feel for taking a brave leap.
She pulled away with force, yanked open the car door, and stormed out.
I followed, getting to the rear hatch just as she pulled her suitcase from it. She wouldn’t let go of the handle when I tried to take it.
“I got it!” she snapped.
I didn’t fight her. Instead, I grabbed my duffel, shut the back, and almost jogged to follow her. The rolling suitcase hit the curb at a weird angle as she hauled it up on the sidewalk, catching the wheel and causing her to lurch sideway. My hands were on her waist before she could hit the sidewalk.
I pulled her up against me. “Stop. Just fucking stop,” I growled.
Her breath was coming in puffs, and her body was tense not only from the almost fall, but from the emotions flowing through her.
“Why are you angry with me?” I demanded.
She glared at me for a long moment before her shoulders sagged, and she pushed her head into my chest. Her voice was quiet, drifting down to the sidewalk, the muffled sound blending into the dark of the night with only the lights from the hotel parking lot surrounding us.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m angry at myself? Or both of us? Or life? You’re beautiful. Your words are beautiful, and I want it all to be mine when I shouldn’t. Irrationally…I guess I want you to say you don’t give a damn about all the things in my life that you’d have to compete with at the same time I hate myself for wanting it when I know it wouldn’t be fair to you.”
I kissed the back of her head. “You misunderstood me, then.”
She caught her breath, slowly pulling her head up until her eyes, shadowed by the competing night and streetlights, met mine. “What?”
“I just wanted you to understand what you were getting into. Regardless of what’s going on in your life, how little or how much time you have for me, I want it. I want the little pieces, Angel. But like I said, if we do this…” My body came to life at just the thought. “I’m not going to walk away after a night or a handful of nights. I’m going to want to be the person waiting for you in your bed when everything you have to do in your day is done. I’m going to want to be the person you tell about the ridiculous customer, or the wild new concoction you thought up, or how Chevelle has learned a new word. I’m going to want to be the person who kisses you until you forget everything that happened in the last twelve hours so you have a few moments of respite before you start your day all over again. If you don’t want that too, then you need to walk into that lobby, check us into the two rooms we’ve already reserved, and say goodnight to me at the elevator.”
Her surprise and pain coasted over her face, followed by desire and fear. There was also hope and something I couldn’t name before a little flare of anger returned. “How can you want so little for yourself? How can you stand there and say you’re willing to just have the crumbs left at the end of my day?” she demanded.
