Page 103 of The Last One You Loved
“My shitty family bled out on you,” McK said quietly.
I shook my head at her. “I have the best things in my life because of you…and Sybil.”
McKenna frowned disbelievingly, and I realized she was going to hold tight to her own guilt regardless of what I said, just like I’d hold onto mine.
I started down the hall, and Ryder’s voice halted me as he spoke to McKenna. “You staying or running?”
My eyes narrowed, unhappy at him for inserting himself into whatever was blooming again between McK and me but also loving him for trying to protect me.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she said.
But she bounced on her toes in that nervous way of hers, and we both knew the truth. If things cleared up for her back in California, she had a life to go back to, a residency to complete. You didn’t just walk away from ten years of hard work when the finish line was mere months away.
Ryder seemed to accept her answer though, because he turned on his heel and headed back toward Sadie’s room while McK and I continued down the hall.
I hadn’t driven to the hospital. At the ranch, Bruce had driven Mila and me to our house, and I’d ridden with her clutched to my chest instead of in a car seat. It wasn’t safe, and yet, it felt like the safest place for her to be all at the same time. When we’d pulled up to the bungalow, Rianne had been waiting for us, the news of what had happened having spread like wildfire through Willow Creek.
She’d hugged us both, worrying over us, and completely understanding when putting Mila into the tub had almost undone me. I wasn’t ready to let her go. As soon as she was clean, I’d handed her over, reluctantly, to Rianne to shower and change myself. Mila hadn’t squirmed once or asked to be put down even when I’d taken her back from Rianne, and Rianne had driven us in the Bronco to the hospital.
Now, I stared at my vehicle and hesitated again. Holding onto Mila was the only thing saving me from a complete breakdown at this point.
McK took the keys from my hand. “I got this. Just sit with her.”
So, we drove for the third time with her in my arms instead of in the car seat.
Mila stirred, her heart pounding, body stiffening, eyes panicking, as she called out, “Daddy?”
I squeezed her tighter. “I’m right here, Bug-a-Boo. Right here. You’re safe.”
She looked around, saw the Bronco and McKenna, and her little body relaxed. Before we’d reached the house, she was out again. Inside, I carried her to my bedroom. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with her anywhere else tonight. McKenna came in behind me a few moments after I’d placed Mila in the middle of my king-sized bed. She plugged in several of Mila’s nightlights that she must have grabbed from her room. I sat on the edge, staring at my daughter.
McK came over and sat on my knee, wrapped her arm around my neck, and watched her with me. “She’s safe, Mads.”
I nodded.
“You got to her in time,” she said quietly.
“But what if…” God, my voice trailed off, tears hitting my cheeks. The terror I’d felt running across the ranch hit me all over again.
“You can’t think about that. It doesn’t matter. Youdidsave her,” McKenna said quietly.
I kissed her softly, a thank-you for the words but also for being there and saving Sadie from bleeding out. She kissed me back just as gently, as if she was afraid I’d break. Then, the kiss deepened, full of loss and anger and fear that came out in a stream of passion. She took every lick and bite and nip and handed them back to me, letting me rain my extreme emotions over her. When they finally eased, I looked down, and her mouth and cheeks were red from the ferocity with which I’d devoured her.
I rubbed a thumb along her bottom lip.
“Sorry,” I said softly.
She shook her head. “No. Don’t ever be sorry for showing me how you feel and letting me hold you up. Do you know how many times in our life you did that for me? Held me when I thought I’d break?”
“You never were going to break,” he said. “You’re too strong.”
McKenna looked over at Mila. “She’s the strong one.”
I agreed. My daughter was strong, but her sister was also. They’d both faced horrors and walked away intact—at least physically. My heart twisted, wondering how this would affect Mila in the long run. If she’d have nightmares. If I’d eventually need to take her to someone to talk about them. She’d been way too quiet for too many hours now, and I hated that what had happened today might take her joy and chatter and change her into someone solemn and grim.
McKenna rose from my knee, hand rubbing along my jaw, and then asked, “Food? Rianne’s right. We need to eat.”
I looked over at Mila, stomach flipping at the thought of even walking out of the room without her. “I…I can’t.”
