Page 68 of The Last One You Loved
Now, who knew how long it had been since she’d been held. Adored. Cherished.
“McKenna,” I said softly. “Please tell me.”
She looked up from her hands.
“I did the right thing, and it ruined everything,” she said.
CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
MCKENNA
WITHOUT YOU
“I want you to hold me, console me,
When I feel I can't control me.”
Performed by Steel Magnolia
Written by Linsey / Jones / Preston
Maddox looked sostrong and determined, as if he could take the weight of my world and carry it easily on his shoulders, and it wouldn’t be a burden to do so. I’d been an inconvenience my entire life. First to Mama, then to him and his family. I’d most certainly been dead weight to Kerry because I’d barely been able to contribute to our living expenses, whereas he’d had a trust fund and parents sending him an allowance every month. Of course, I never would have lived in the expensive condominium he’d chosen if I hadn’t been with him, but still, I hadn’t pulled my fair share.
The only time?the only place?I’d ever carried my own weight was in the ER.
There, I wasn’t a burden. I was a protector.
The way Maddox was looking at me, though…as if he wanted—no, needed—to help me carry the load… God. It unraveled some knot I’d held tight in my chest for years. Maybe my whole life. It was his look, as if I was someone special who deserved to be loved, that had me crumbling.
Everything came tumbling out of my mouth in a rush. Layton. CPS. Being put on paid suspension. The texts I couldn’t prove were from Dr. Gregory. The whole time I talked, his face got grimmer, tighter, until I thought his jaw might snap, and I’d have to wire it back together.
“You don’t need to just take this,” he said quietly when I finally stopped. “There are ways to find out the store he bought the prepaid phones from, if that’s what he’s using. We can get security tapes. At a minimum, you can file a restraining order.”
I laid my head down on my arms on the island. The thought of doing all that, filing a report, trying to go after him… It all felt like…too much. What I really wanted to do was hide like I’d done whenever Mama was in a mood. The shed across the street had only lasted for a few years because she’d easily discovered it. But then there’d been the church, and Tillie’s, and eventually, I’d been able to call Maddox on a cell phone I kept off unless I absolutely needed it, hidden behind a ceiling tile in my room.
“Let me help you,” he said quietly, sitting down on the stool beside me, leaning over so his face was closer to mine resting on the counter. “This isn’t like when we were kids, McK. I have resources, things I can do to make sure this guy stops threatening you.”
Our gaze locked, and I wondered how, even after all these years, he could still read me so easily. Read my thoughts and feel my emotions. He’d said Mila was an empath, and even though they shared not an ounce of DNA, I wondered if she’d somehow picked it up from him, because he’d always felt deeply, carrying my hurts with him.
He'd been a beautiful soul at eighteen, and now, he was a magnificent man.
I moved ever so slightly, joining our lips. A simple caress meant only to be an enormous thank-you, not only for offering to help today but for all the times he’d wiped my blood from my body, put ice on my bruises, and helped me forget for a few hours how badly my life sucked. For giving his heart to me even though I’d stomped on it because I hadn’t known how to keep it and still run.
The hand he’d had on my back moved up to my hair, tangling in it, and the kiss swiftly moved from a sweet thank-you into thundering need. I licked at the seam of his mouth, and he opened for me, letting me in where I continued to slowly explore every soft, wet corner, trying to give when I felt like I’d always taken.
He groaned, dragging me up and jerking the stool so I was tucked against him. His hands gripped my waist, thrusting our hips and cores together as he took command of the kiss, claiming me with the same fierceness I’d felt in his office. Long fingers slid under my T-shirt, softly caressing and sending a wave of glorious goosebumps across my skin that felt painfully raw. Every nerve ending ached to be touched by him.
His palm cupped my breast, and he inhaled sharply, lips moving against mine as he grunted out, “Do you ever wear a bra?”
I smiled. “Rarely.”
“Jesus…” He pulled my top over my head, and I let him. Then, he just stared for a moment before slowly swirling his fingers around my nipples, which were taut and aching. “Even all these years later, these are the breasts I dream about.”
He bent, licking and savoring one while his fingers worked the other. My body convulsed, my core rippling. It wouldn’t take much to push me over the edge. I moved so I was straddling him, drawing him even closer as my hands found their way into his hair, and he continued to lick and suck and twist. My hips thrust, rubbing along the delicious length of him hidden beneath the zipper of his uniform, my yoga pants barely a barrier. A tortured whimper escaped me.
His mouth returned to mine, hands going to my ass, and his hips rocked into me, pushing against my core. I pulled free of his lips. “God, Mads, I’m going to…”
I shattered, shuddering and shaking around him. My eyes rolled back, and my entire body went limp, falling into him. He caught me, easily bearing my weight and kissing down the side of my jaw, sucking my earlobe, and igniting me all over again even as the last trembles of my orgasm were still rolling through me.
