Page 66 of After All The Wreckage
“I hear what you’re saying, Monte, and I think that would be really good for Gage. I’m just not sure I can be that person for him.” Monte frowned, about to say something, and I rushed forward with my words. “Not because I don’t like Gage. Not because I wouldn’t want to be that person, but because Gage may not be ready to let anyone be there for him in that way.”
The truth of it settled between us. The reality of my words hit me as I realized just how much I would love to be the person at Gage’s side, forcing him out of his shell. Forcing him to enjoy his life rather than just living to make sure his siblings had one. The irony of those thoughts and how similar they were to the words Nan had said to me wasn’t lost on me.
The door opened behind Monte, and we both twisted, my arm automatically going to my back and the gun I kept there.Gage’s face and body emerged from the shadowed landing. He looked from Monte to me and back, a frown appearing once again between his brows.
“You’re early,” he said, and then reading the tension in the air between Monte and me, added, “Everything okay here?”
Monte was the one to nod first. “Yeah. Rory just barely walked in. I’m going to go make sure Ivy really isonlyputting her pajamas on.”
Gage tossed his keys into a bowl on the table by the door. An unsafe place for them. A place anyone could casually pick them up. But I had to remember I wasn’t there to overhaul their security. Just like I wasn’t part of the family he was coming home to even if my body was longing to run over to him and kiss him hello. To greet him like some fifties throwback that was the complete opposite of anything I’d ever want.
The truth was I’d never seen myself in a long-term relationship. Not even as a teen when I’d ogled Gage. I’d wanted him in an ambiguous way. As if I could have him without our relationship being labeled. But the person who stepped up to be in Gage’s life wouldn’t be able to just have him and ignore the remaining pieces of his world, because all those pieces made him the man he was.
He’d need someone who could claim his family as much as they claimed him.
And I just wasn’t sure I knew how to do that.
Not when the only family I’d had was the one I’d broken.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Gage
IN GOOD FAITH
Performed by Survivor
Regardless of whatthey’d both said, something had gone on between Monte and Rory before I’d walked through the door. There’d been a tension in the air. Not anger. Not even anything bad necessarily, but I sensed their discomfort. Monte was keeping secrets from me again. Secrets, I realized, he’d told Rory.
That hurt. And pissed me off.
Later, I’d force one—or both of them—to tell me the truth.
I read Ivy a story with Monte snuggled up on the other side of her and couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if Rory was in there with us. My heart spasmed at the idea. A reality dancing just outside my reach. When the book was done, Monte kissed Ivy goodnight and headed out of the room while I finished tucking her in.
I kissed Ivy on the cheek. “Love you to the far side of the rainbow and back, Ives.”
“Love you, Bubba.”
Her little eyes were already fluttering shut as I flipped off the light and partially closed the door. Ivy had never been afraid of the dark, which was nice because I hadn’t had to sleep with a damn nightlight on. In fact, our sister was pretty fearless. In some ways, her attitude reminded me of Rory’s. A little in your face, not going to back down, but really, behind it, a soft wall of love and kindness.
When I walked down the hall, Rory was seated at the counter and Monte was in the kitchen grabbing a pint of ice cream from the freezer. He tossed the lid aside and started to eat directly from the container. It was only my words that halted him.
“You going to offer some to our guest?” I asked.
His eyes got wide, and he turned to Rory. “Would you like some?”
She laughed. Light and soft and enticing. A laugh that made you want to sit back and listen to it for hours. Days. Years. I’d forgotten that about her. Or maybe I’d never allowed myself to really listen to her back then. Now, her laugh was another dart that lodged itself into my soul.
“I have a feeling if I said yes, I’d be breaking your heart. So, thanks, but no.”
He grinned. “I’d share. I mean, it’s Cherry Garcia, and it might cost me a few more layers of skin from my hands to give it up, but I would.”
She chuckled again, and it lifted more of the heaviness from the air.
“Good thing I don’t like cherries then.”
His smile grew wider as he dug into the ice cream. I should have yelled at him for not using a bowl, but the Cherry Garciawas all his. The three of us knew it, and he’d earned it after everything he’d been through.
