Page 107 of The Moments You Were Mine
We’d fallen asleep with the television on, the sound muted, and now the screen flickered, sending a wash of light and dark across the room as Buffy and her friends tried once again to save the day. Fallon’s head rested on my shoulder, her side tucked into mine. Sometime during the night, my hand had spread wide over her stomach, as if I was already trying to protect the life growing inside her.
A baby. A little piece of Fallon who would be impossible notto love, just as it was impossible not to love Fallon herself. Because that was the simple truth. I loved her. I wasn’t sure there’d been a moment since she’d been brought into my life that I hadn’t. It may not have been the kind of love it was today, the unyielding, all-consuming love that fueled desire and passion and hope, but it had always been love.
She thought I was doing this to protect her and the baby and maybe as a way of shrugging out from under the burden of caring for Theo alone. And while all of that was true, none of those were the real reason I’d said yes.
When she’d suggested getting married, everything in my world had righted itself after weeks of feeling scattered. The puzzle had slid together into a perfect whole right next to the flashes of family I found myself craving. I absolutely wanted a life with Fallon. I wanted to wake up at her side and face the challenges of the world next to her. I wanted her bravery and determination to fuel me every day, making me a better man. I wanted to be worthy of her.
This wasn’t me accepting a new obligation.
This was me being lucky enough to catch a falling star and keep it.
She needed to know it. She needed to hear it from me.
But she wasn’t ready.
If I pushed and told her now that I loved her, she’d think it was my way of making her feel better about forcing this marriage on me.
I didn’t feel forced. If anything, I felt relieved.
This was what I wanted. Her.
I’d tell her, and soon, but not yet. I’d wait until I was sure she’d really hear it.
Besides, I still had some decisions to make.
I wasn’t sure why it had taken me so long to realize making Fallon smile, making her laugh, making her climax, and giving her the partner she deserved was more important than any mission I’d ever done for my country. Serving hundreds of millions of people would never be as important as serving one. It would never be as important as making a woman who’d always felt like an obligation feel like she was my very reason for breathing.
I’d been so focused, so closed-minded in my pursuit of my career goal, I’d missed what was really important. It wasn’t the mission. It was what you came home to. That was why my house had always felt so empty when I’d gotten home. Your loved ones were the reason you were fighting when you were out in the field, because you were fighting for their freedom to love and laugh and thrive. Being home with them was the reward.
The question was, would I risk Fallon’s happiness, Theo’s, and the baby’s by continuing to put myself in danger? Could I step back onto the tarmac, get on a plane, and carry a gun into a battle, knowing I might not come home to them? Did I even want that for myself? Or was I just holding on to an oath to a dying man?
I loved being part of the teams. I loved every minute we spent challenging each other to be better than the best and to accomplish the impossible as a unit. I loved the actual work and the camaraderie that came with it.
What would I do if I wasn’t a SEAL?
Ride on the coattails of my heiress wife?
It would be no better than JJ wanting Fallon for her money.
A sour taste ran through my mouth at that thought. Metallic. Ugly.
Dad was stepping down, retiring from Marquess Enterprises, and Noah was taking over for him. I could easily go to work for them and fill in any holes, but that thought didn’t bring me joy.
Fallon shifted next to me, and a little breathy exhale drew my gaze to her face.
She was so goddamn beautiful. Dazzling asleep, but even more so when she was awake and that vibrant energy filled her, drove her, sparkled from her. It had mostly been missing since I’d arrived at the ranch. I’d seen mere hints of it, and I was determined to bring it back full time, to ensure those rays shifted out of her like confetti—like fucking fireworks—every single day.
I’d do anything to make it happen.
Her eyelids fluttered as she dragged herself from the sleeping world to the real one. When she was fully awake, her gaze locked on mine. Surprise lit those warm depths and then a small smile. “I thought it was all a dream.”
I brushed my lips lightly over hers. Hunger raged through me. How long would I be able to wait before I couldn’t hold back any longer? A day? Two?
Before I knew it, I was softly singing the lines from “House of Sleep” about never sleeping alone and about my real dreams.
She swallowed hard, a soft and wistful look in her eyes, even though her tone was all saucy tease when she spoke. “You really singing Amorphis to me this early in the morning, Kermit? It’s no ‘(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life,’ so you must really want my morning sickness to turn into actual vomit.”
I chuckled. “There’s hope for you yet if you at least recognize the song and artist. I won’t give up hope of making a metalhead out of you before the end of the next decade.”
