Page 32 of Anders
Her voice dropped to a whisper.They never reallyfeltright.I mean, they did and said all the right things, but…She sighed.When I left Billings to go to the University of Montana in Missoula, it was like I was able to really breathe for the first time.
So that’s where you got your degree?
She nodded.In journalism.
But if her placement in Sunburst had been planned…
Her stomach dropped.That wasn’t really my choice, either, was it?
Anders gave a one-shouldered shrug.I don’t know.
All my small-town reporter jobs up until now—they were all leading to this position.Etta ground her teeth.Nothing about me is real.It’s like I’m not a person at all.
That’s not true.
It is!My job, my desire to be a reporter, everything about me is fake.
Maybe the job,Anders conceded.But your skills in journalism would have to be real.Your degree is real.Anything you’ve ever written.All those things are real.And so are you.
But I’ve been placed here.
Anders nodded seriously.I believe so, yes.We need to tell Malcolm and Larissa.This affects the entire pack—all packs, potentially.
At the thought of facing others, of being examined and questioned, panic welled up in Etta’s throat.I can’t—not yet.I barely understand any of this myself.
Okay,Anders said, surprising her with his immediate agreement.We take this at your pace.But we do need to figure out what’s happening to you, and quickly.If your suppression is failing, there’s no telling how your body will react.
Etta took a deep breath, steadying herself.She was a journalist—she dealt in facts, in investigation.She could approach this the same way.
I need to know more,she decided.About shifters, about packs.About what I am.And I need to remember more about what they did to me.
Anders studied her for a long moment.That’s going to be difficult.Painful, probably.The memories you recover may not be pleasant ones.
I know,Etta said.But I can’t hide from this.And if we’re right, I can’t let them—whoevertheymay be—use me anymore.
Something flashed in Anders’s eyes—approval, maybe, or respect.Good,he said simply.
Etta stood, surprising herself with the sudden certainty of her next decision.I want to try.
Try what?Anders asked, though his expression suggested he already knew.
Shifting,Etta said, the word sending a mixture of terror and exhilaration through her.If I’m really what you say I am—what my memories say I am—then I need to know.To experience it consciously.
Are you sure?Anders asked.The first shift after suppression probably won’t be easy.I’m guessing your body will fight it, resist the change.
I’m sure,Etta said, feeling more conviction than she had in days.I need this, Anders.I need to reclaim whatever they took from me.
Anders was silent for a long moment, studying her face.Then he nodded.Okay.But not here.We need somewhere safer, somewhere with more space.
First, I want to know what you’ve found out about my rental house, about whoever’s been watching me.I need to understand what I’m up against.
Without waiting for his response, she headed down the hallway in the direction he’d come from earlier.Anders caught up in two long strides, his movements fluid and silent in a way she now recognized as distinctly nonhuman.
Here,he said, pushing open a door at the end of the hall.
The room was filled with monitors, each displaying a different view of Sunburst.One screen showed her rental house, its windows dark and empty.Another showed the newspaper office, the door still ajar from their hasty exit the night before.
You’ve been watching me,Etta said, not sure if she should be angry or grateful.
