Page 104 of Courting War
Theo found no respite because she had to answer Kellyn and beg him not to leave her as Cecile had.
“You’re a dirty liar,” Kellyn’s voice was smooth whisky combined with arsenic.
“Yes.”
His face fell, and the vein in his jaw ticked. It was his disappointment—his hurt that gutted her. It felt like termites were slowly eating tracks through the lining of her soul.
“You liedto me,” he breathed again. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
She wanted to. She was about to tell him everything. Wasn’t she? But . . . maybe that was just another lie because Theo wasn’t brave enough to risk his wrath. Brave enough to lose him to the truth, but now she’d lost him anyway because he’d never accept War. The irony was that if Theo could have anything, she would have his acceptance. She would have him know all of her. Selfishly, she wanted to beseenby him.
She wanted to belovedby him.
“Kel, I—” Theo swallowed, and she couldn’t get words to pass her tongue, shame turning it to stone.
“Theodra.” His bearing was as hard as the volcanic rock surrounding them.
“Theo,” she whispered, averting her gaze. She wanted him to use her nickname—the name she chose. She wanted the closeness of it.
Everything about the gentle, kind giant vanished, and fury consumed him. This was a betrayal too far for him. After being so wronged by the gods, so abandoned by her . . . it was all too much for him, and she knew it. It was etched onto the structure of his bones.
“What does the spell do,Theodra?” The words hissed like the lava flowing into thewater.
She pinched her lips together and shooed away a water sprite soaked in her toxic emotions. “It’s a spell to get my divinity back.”
“Was the kiss just to get me to translate it?”
She looked up, horrified. “No, of—”
“You’ve been using me this whole time.” Heavy emotion fell from his lips. “Getting close to me. Playing with me. Seducing me.” He shook his head. “What games are you playing now? Did you enjoy watching me suffer—watching me poison my best friend?”
“No,” her voice cracked.
“Did you force Gallagher to switch out my speech, too? So you could play your little games with a devoted follower?” He seethed. “Well, I'm no longer devoted. I despise you.”
“I didn’t, Kel, I promise . . .”
“I thought you might be different.” Betrayal painted his sculpted face. “Did you use me just to get this spell? It’s what you wanted from the beginning, wasn’t it?”
“Yes . . . but I—”
“Cecile was right not to trust you. She was right to run away from you.” He stood up, shaking. “I’m done, Theodra.” He cursed her name and stormed from the cave, leaving her with her spell book and a million regrets.
Chapter Thirty-One
THEODRA
Guilt Ridden Ex-God
LOVE CAVE, CITY OF THE GODS
Cecile was right not to trust you. She was right to run away from you.
Pain radiated behind Theo’s eyes and through her chest. Emotions bubbled up like acid in her esophagus, and her nose and cheeks ached from holding tears back—from keeping the emotions from spilling down her face.
The spell book sat open on the floor, mocking her. Mocking her choices and goals, and selfish desires. They were right. Theo was wretched—a god who used people for personal gain. A god who murdered and punished and hated. She was no different than her sisters or mother. No different than the gods reveling in the Sacrifice.
Theo was just as bad.
