Page 1 of New Year, New Baby
1
Nova
“Oh my god, I’msoooolooking forward to winter break,” my friend Adora rhapsodizes.She takes an emphatic bite of a Christmas cookie and then closes her eyes.“Mmmm.”
I giggle.
“I swear, Adora, seeing you eat that cookie is like watching you have an orgasm.”
My buddy’s blue eyes fly open, devilish and naughty.
“You know it.Who needs guys these days?As long as I have my sugar, I can die a happy woman.”
“Oh my god!”I practically screech with laughter while pelting her with a handful of fluffy caramel popcorn.We’re in the quad at La Salle High in New York City, and the only ones who’ve braved the cold during this chilly week.I don’t blame my classmates.Maybe it hasn’t started snowing in the city yet, but it’s cold all the same.
Still, Adora and I like to get outside when we can.With our big puffers on, as well as hats smashed on our heads and scarves wrapped around our faces, we look like misshapen snowmen.But it’s okay because with no one around, we can act like silly idiots.
“We can’t live without men!They’re too cute and handsome to ignore.I love men,” I protest after my laughing subsides.
Adora gets a thoughtful look on her pretty features.
“Yeah, me too, but thereisa movement these days to stay away from boys.What is it called again?A man-cation?”
I nod.
“Yeah, that or a dating cleanse.”
“No, no, not a dating cleanse,” Adora corrects.“That’s too tame.I mean really staying away from men.Not letting them rule your thoughts or control your actions.”
I shoot her an arch look.
“You mean, by joining a nunnery?Taking your vows to become a woman of faith?But that’s not staying away from men because Jesus is a guy, and worshipping him governs a truly devout life.Wouldn’t that violate the whole thing?”
Adora rolls her eyes.
“Hardy har har, Nova, you’re so funny.You should mention that observation to your pastor next week.”But then my blonde buddy perks up.“Oh wait, but now I remember!The movement’s called ‘decentering men.’”
This time, I really do roll my eyes.
“Decentering men?”I ask in a droll tone.“No seriously, how does that happen?Girlfriend, you and I may only be eighteen, but we know better than that: this is a world designed by and for men, and we just live in it.”
Adora shoots me a doleful look.
“Sadly, that’s true.But this movement was set up to combat the structural issues devaluing women.We’re not going to let them rule us.We’re going to control our thoughts so that this whole dating rigamarole doesn’t consume 90% of my waking hours.”
“Or in my case, 99%,” I add with a wink.“Seriously, I love guys, Dora.But yeah, I see your point.I’d be so productive if I weren’t so boy-crazy!”
We both dissolve into giggles then because while my buddy and I love to gossip about boys and who’s dating whom, the truth of the matter is that Adora and I hardly get out.Oh sure, we go to high school dances and socialize with some of the boys in the Jane Austen Book Club (yes, we have male classmates in said book club).But the long and the short of it is that we don’t get out much in a romantic sense.Instead, we read glossy magazines chock full of relationship advice, while consuming hours and hours ofLove Island, Love is Blind,90-Day Fiancé, and the entireBachelor Nationseries.Maybe these shows aren’t the best way to learn about love, but sadly, it’s about as close as Adora and I are going to get.
Still though, I have my secret crushes.We have as number of male classmates who’ve matured a lot over the last few years, and who look a bit more like men now, instead of twig-like boys.Even some of the nerds from Math Club have shot up, and tower over me instead of the reverse.But it’s not universal, and most of my guy friends are definitivelynotmanly.They continue to suffer from acne, and their voices break at the most inopportune times.It’s almost funny, but I try not to laugh because I know it’s embarrassing for them.
Speaking of which, someone in a big puffy jacket exits the cafeteria and begins to amble towards us.Adora squints at the shuffling figure while biting into another Christmas cookie.
“Isn’t that David Cooper?”she asks.He pulls his hood down as he approaches, coppery red hair glinting in the winter sunlight.“Oh yeah, it’s def him.Carrot Top himself.”
“Hey, that’s not nice!”I say under my breath while trying to stifle a smile.“Carrot Top has a huge steroids problem, and David doesn’t at all.”Then, I clam up as David comes to a stop next to our table.He shoots me a big smile.
“Hey Nova,” he greets, slightly out of breath.“Hey Adriana—”
