Page 107 of Brandy Snap: Part Two
More shame burned through me. I didn’t want to disappoint him.
“Do you want to tell me what happened? Have you been pregnant before?”
I shook my head, releasing a slow breath as my nerves built up. I still didn’t want to tell any of them, but both Kai and Sin had spoken about me joining their pack, and they needed to know.
“So, um…” I trailed off as I searched for the best way to say it. He fed his fingers through mine, giving me a reassuring smile
“My family was in a car accident when I was younger. And I just happened to be on the wrong side of the car, and a piece of metal sliced me as the car hit the ground.” I pressed my other hand against my stomach, trembling as all those horrible feelings burst up. I always forced myself not to think about it, but I hated the jealousy and spite that hounded me when I really thought about how much my sister had, how lacking I was compared to her, and how much it hurt to share it.
I glanced up at him, hoping for more encouragement, but he’d gone still.
“So, I… I can’t have children…” I murmured, squeezing him so tight our fingers went white. “I’m basically a defective omega,” I chuckled darkly, even though saying it out loud stabbed me right through the heart.
He sat up instantly, and a huge pulse went through his body, echoing into mine.
My heart freefell, my eyes wide, fear tearing through me as the colour drained from his face.
“Oh my God,” he whispered.
“I’m so sorry,” I quickly choked out. “There’s nothing I can do about it. The surgery was really severe, and I…” I was trembling so hard that I couldn’t say it again.
He just stared at me. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
Because his eyes glazed over, like he wasn’t looking at me, as if he thought he’d made a mistake, like he was going to get rid of me any second because his jaw dropped and he started to shake.
He went limp, pulling his hands from mine as he threw himself back into the pillows with a groan. My brow furrowed as he slapped both his hands over his face, completely hiding from me.
His emotions ripped from him, suddenly ricocheting through my body so strongly that I gasped.
“Kai?” I said, already trembling with fear. “What’s going on?”
He moaned into his hands, and fear rushed through me.
Beyond Caspian’s disdain, and Sin’s selfishness, I thought Kai would understand.
Kai hadn’t told me he loved me, but I could feel it there between us, dancing through our hearts as we ebbed and flowed through our bond as we made love.
But it was gone, and in its place a lightness exploded. I almost fell back because of the force of the sheer happiness pounding from him.
I couldn’t bear it.
Because I could guess what it was.
“Why are you covering your face?” I asked, my panic leaking into my voice as I leaned over him, trying to see through his cupped hands.
It might be the same thing all over again. Where our family and friends would talk behind my back and give me looks of pity because I was a beta who couldn’t even have children. My aunts and grandmas said that I’d be lonely my whole life, and even as a teenager, they told me it was such a shame.
Rosa thought I didn’t know about the way her friends had laughed at me for not being an omega. Even though she defended me like a real sister would, I still overheard them talking about how sad I was because of my ‘condition’.
Rosa tried to hide those things from me, but Kai was laying it all out there.
“Just don’t look at me, Brandy. I’m so fucking ugly right now. You shouldn’t see this.”
“What do you mean? I don’t understand.” I needed him to talk to me.
“Please, Brandy,” he begged. “You deserve so much better than what I’m doing. But I can’t stop it. I need a minute before I can answer you properly.”
I was the one who needed a minute. I’d just confessed one of my deepest traumas, and I needed him to see me.
