Page 56 of Brandy Snap: Part Two
Because I’d dreaded being in my nest alone. Sin had offered to walk me all the way up to my flat after the party, but I didn’t want him to smell the bleach and anxiety which hung around my nest.
And I still wanted to hurt Zania.
It wasn’t just from the rage that had torn me up when Zania broke into my nest. It was a genuine urge to find her and punish her and make her beg me for forgiveness.
It was like this dark monster living inside me that surfaced every time I let my guard down. I’d wake up growling and snarling, or I’d suddenly snap at the smallest thing.
I was wound up, ready to spring, ready to leap for her as if she might show up at any second.
I was constantly on high alert and exhausted because it felt like she could attack at any moment even though all I’d done since I got back from the party was stay in my nest and visit my mum.
But she was a constant presence, under my skin, goading me, promising me I’d never be safe.
And I couldn’t tell if this need to attack her was mine, or if it had transferred into me when Kai and I exchanged bites.
The only thing that calmed me was their scents. Making sure each room smelled of vanilla and amaretto was so much easier when they sent me scent-marked fluffy toys and blankets.
I went over to the table, sorting through the piles of presents. Everything was already neatly stacked and organised, but I pushed it all back to make room for whatever was coming next.
After the toys and blankets came the food deliveries in the evening from restaurants so expensive I felt guilty eating them.
Though it was amazing not to have to cook, I was a single person living alone and they were ordering everything on the menu.
It was so obvious what they were doing, but I was too weak. I needed my nest covered in their scents, so when more blankets had arrived yesterday and Caspian’s scent drifted up from the box, I caved. I would never admit I actually squealed as I threw all the blankets on my bed, snuggling up in them. I bathed in caramel for the first time in days.
I’d even wondered if they’d forced Caspian into the blanket just to get his scent for me.
When I first bit Kai, the craving was so deep I thought I couldn’t breathe without him—without all three of them. But, this time, going to sleep smothered in their scents with my nest filled with presents from them made the pain bearable. Becauseit felt like they would come back for me. That they would protect me from Zania.
I wished I could pretend things were normal. As if I’d always been an omega, as if I’d found my pack the usual way, and I hadn’t messed everything up so badly that I didn’t know if it could be fixed. Like sleeping with Sin, causing Kai to have a breakdown, and then fucking and bonding with Kai all in one night. And not even thinking about Caspian at all.
Selfish wasn’t the right word, but it felt close enough…
Or maybe that was what being an omega was all about. Where my instincts were more important than being a decent person…
I narrowed my eyes at the door as I waited for the delivery person to finish scrawling the ‘we left your package in a safe place’ note (which was literally in front of my door in an open corridor).
It sounded heavy enough that I was going to have to drag it in across the floor. But I was still buzzing with excitement at what might be next.
I pulled out my phone, unlocking my screen, still weirdly shy about texting Kai so easily.
“What did you get me this time?” I messaged him. He’d stolen my phone number from Sin a few days ago and we’d texted nonstop since the party.
He read the message as soon as it arrived, shooting back straight away: “You’ll love this one. I swear I’m going to hunt you down if you don’t.”
A smile split my lips as I slipped my phone into the back pocket of my shorts.
Whenever I even thought of him, my nipple tingled. The white circle of his bite stood proud against my skin, and I loved how I could feel it with the beat of my heart.
He’d bitten me all over my chest, but it was my nipple that felt most special.
With no air con and a flat built in the ‘70s, it was its own sweatbox, so I’d been wearing shorts and vests for days, and I barely had any clean clothes left. I didn’t want to use the communal washing machine when my scent screamed ‘omega’.
My bites were completely exposed, and whenever I caught sight of myself in a mirror, I stopped and admired them because they felt so natural.
My brow furrowed as the doorbell rang again. Normally, the delivery people dropped the parcel and left. They didn’t care enough to knock twice, unless it was a special delivery.
Even though it was boiling in the flat, I still grabbed Caspian’s blanket from the pile, wrapping it around me as the doorbell went again.
