Page 22 of The Enforcer's Vow
His sigh carries through the phone, heavy with exhaustion. "From getting killed because you're asking the wrong questions to the wrong people."
"Then maybe you should have thought about that before you started whatever this is. Before you started lying to me."
The pause on the other end tells me he feels guilty, but he won’t change what he's doing. "I lied to protect you."
"You lied to use me. Don't pretend this was about protection."
"Both things can be true, Zoya. I need you safe and uninformed because the moment you know what I'm really involved in, you become a target."
I scoff, upset and pacing near my door now. My palm presses flat on my head. "What if this goes bad, Damir? You swore you were innocent, that you didn't do it. Why are you hiding, then? Just tell them."
"You don't understand. The Vetrovs aren't the real threat. They're just one player in a much bigger game."
"Then explain it to me. Tell me what game you're playing."
"I can't. Not over the phone. Not from where I am."
"Then where can we meet?" I'm panicked, hugging my arms over my stomach.
"We can't. It's too dangerous. If they see us together?—"
"They already know we're connected. They already know you're my brother. Meeting changes nothing."
"It changes everything. Right now, you're an unknown quantity. You could be innocent, you could be involved, you could be useful, you could be a threat. As long as they don't know which, you have value. You have leverage. But if they see us together, if they know you're actively helping me, you become a target."
I lean back against the wall, staring at the ceiling. "So what do you want me to do? Just keep lying to Maksim? Keep pretending I don't know anything?"
"What the fuck, Zoya! I want you to get out. Leave Moscow. Go somewhere they can't find you."
"I'm not leaving you," I hiss, terrified he will force me to leave.
"Then stop trying to save me. Stop getting involved with Maksim. Stop digging into things you don't understand."
"I can't do that either."
"Why not?"
The question is honest, but I realize I don't have a good answer. Or rather, I have an answer I don't want to give. Because the truth is, I don't want to stop seeing Maksim. I need answers from him, and if Damir won't give them to me, maybe Maksim will. Besides, he's been more present in my life for the past two weeks than my brother has for months.
"Because I'm close," I say finally. "He's starting to trust me. If I can get more information?—"
"Information about what? You don't even know what you're looking for."
"Then tell me what to look for. Tell me what you need."
"I need you to be safe. I need you to stay away from this. I need you to trust me when I tell you that the only way to protect yourself is to walk away."
"And I need you to trust me when I tell you that I can't do that. Not anymore."
"Why not?"
Because when Maksim looks at me, I feel seen in a way that's dangerous and addictive. Because the line between performance and reality is already blurring, and I'm not sure I mind. Because despite everything I've learned today, despite all the evidence of Damir's betrayal, Maksim feels more real than anything else in my life.
"Because I'm already too deep," I say instead. "Because walking away now would be more dangerous than staying. Because if I disappear suddenly, it will tell them everything they need to know."
"Maybe. Or maybe it will save your life."
"Or maybe it will get us both killed. If I'm valuable to them as an asset, then I'm also valuable as a bargaining chip. If I disappear, they'll assume you took me. They'll hunt us both."
