Page 47 of Traitorous Lies
Everything reminded her of him.
Her plan to just forget about him, mark him off as a mistake, didn't seem to be working out too well. It had been a whole forty-eight hours since she’d last seen him, and yet he consumed her every waking second.
When she ate, she thought of how he’d followed her lead and gone along with her finding them edible plants and berries to sustain them instead of hunting like his plan had been. When she took a step and felt the stinging burn in her feet from the blisters, she thought of walkingfor hours side by side, filling the silence with chatter and laughter as they got to know one another.
When she took a shower, she thought of how gently he’d used his handkerchief to clean away the blood on her face when they’d run away from the van after he’d killed all the men who had kidnapped them. When she climbed into bed last night, she thought of how he’d built them a fire to keep warm, then taken the side away from it when they slept so she’d have the benefit of both his body heat and the fire. She also thought of what a comfortable pillow he’d turned out to be and how safe she’d felt sleeping in his arms.
Every time she talked to one of her employees, she found her mind flashing back to sneaking up on Jax and the men he’d been talking to and overhearing him say that he was there for a job and had been using her.
Then there was her little foxy Prince Charming. Jax hadn't wanted her to carry the injured animal around with them, and she got why, it was an added burden to her already flagging strength. But she couldn’t leave the fox behind, and now every time she looked at him, she’d be forced to remember Jax.
Jax, who hadn't turned out to be her Prince Charming.
It shouldn’t matter, she shouldn’t evenneeda prince charming. After all, she was doing a pretty good job of taking care of her life and herself without the help of anyone else. She worked hard, doing something she loved, contributing to society instead of living off her family’s wealth. She shouldn’t need saving, and she didn't, not in the Cinderella story kind of way.
What she just needed was for someone to see her.
For someone to care enough to search the ends of the kingdom to find her, just because they couldn’t imagine their life without her in it.
Instead, she was alone, like she always was, wandering from area to area across her property, checking in on all her animals, making sure they knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were safe and cared for.
And if she never found anyone who made her feel that way, then she’d survive. Maybe she wouldn't find the happiness she craved, not everybody did, but that didn't mean she couldn’t find anotherkind of happiness. Having a partner and family weren't the only ways to feel like you belonged.
Yet they were the ways she craved.
They were what she’d always wanted.
Her fairytale didn't have a prince, a castle, and a kingdom—she could already have all of those if she wanted—hers just had people. Lots of people. Lots of laughter. Lots of love.
That’s what her fairytale dream was.
But that was the thing with dreams, they didn't always become realities, and she had to stop acting like they did.
With a sigh, she closed the stable door behind her, leaving behind the two little donkeys that had been rescued in a police raid on a meth lab and delivered into her care. They were healing well now that they had proper food and medical care, and one day soon they’d be ready to find a forever home.
Forever home.
Too bad nobody ever talked about that for people.
What she wouldn't give to find her own forever home. She’d thought that it might be with Jax, but that was clearly no longer on the cards. That didn't mean she couldn’t find it with someone else, though. Dating was hard for her as an introvert, even harder because as soon as men found out who she was, their attitude toward her changed. But that didn't mean she shouldn’t try.
There had to be a good man out there who wouldn't use her.
And if the thought of anyone other than Jax running their hands all over her naked body made her feel a little queasy, she was sure that feeling would pass over time.
As she walked through the trees toward her next stop, Monique suddenly felt like she was being watched.
Freezing, she spun in a slow circle, searching the trees for any signs that she wasn't alone.
There didn't appear to be anyone, she couldn’t spot any shadows or any movement. The woods were quiet and peaceful like they usually were, nothing seemed different, and yet the feeling of eyes tracking her every move didn't fade.
“Brad? Angela?” she called out, wondering if one of the two workersthere today had just been crossing paths with her and that was why she suddenly felt like she was being watched.
Nobody answered her calls, and she shrugged off the sensation.
More than likely, it was just leftover trauma from last week. After being run off the road, kidnapped, and forced to walk for days through the forest, it was no wonder she was on edge. After she’d been abducted when she was fourteen, she’d spent months living with the fallout. The constant paranoia, fear of the dark, fear of strangers, of being alone, the phantom feel of the man’s hands touching her, of him inside her. She’d struggled to eat and sleep, she’d wanted to stay locked in her bedroom because nowhere else felt safe, and she’d lived in a constant state of waiting for someone to jump out of the shadows and grab her.
Just because things hadn't been as bad as they could have been this time around didn't mean she was going to walk away from the ordeal without consequences.
