Page 54 of Traitorous Lies
For a second his hand stilled before resuming its path, trailing the length of her back. “And how do you feel about it?”
“Do you know?” Not lifting her cheek from his chest, Monique tilted her head back so she could see his face.
It was serious as he looked down at her and he nodded. “Cassandra called to tell me as soon as she got the email. She wanted to call you, too, knowing you’d have gotten the results as well, but she wanted to give you space to process.”
“I just … it’s … I'm …”
“Struggling to comprehend it all,” Jax finished for her, and she nodded, then closed her eyes and tucked her face into the warmth of his body.
“It’s not like my parents had a great marriage, I mean, my mom bailed on us when I was a toddler. So it’s not as though I feel like this revelation destroyed my family or anything. It just … it changes things. Changes everything. My dad cheated on my mom. I guess that’s why she left. Cassandra’s probably right and she found out about it. I wish she’d taken me with her, but what’s done is done. My grandparents are going to freak, but I think they’ll want to meet Cassandra, she’s family, and while I won't say theycareabout family, they areobsessedwith it. I just … I don’t know if that’s what she wants. I mean she already has a family and I … don’t know where I fit into that.”
“Where do you want to fit into it?”
“I always wanted a sister,” she answered honestly. Despite the shock of finding all of this out, there was a definite spark of excitement inside her. Now she was a big sister instead of an only child, and she wanted to spend more time getting to know Cassandra. Maybe one day they’d feel like a real family, and she’d have someone to spend the holidays with, and confide in, and she wouldn't feel so alone anymore.
But what did Cassandra want?
Their situations weren't the same.
While she learned her absent dad betrayed her abandoning mom, Cassandra had learned that her beloved mom had cheated on the dad she adored, and had six overprotective brothers who adored her.
Did she have space in her life for anyone else?
Especially someone who would be a constant reminder of what happened to her family?
“I can hear you thinking from here,” Jax said, his voice rumbling through his chest. “What are you worried about?”
“Does Cassandra want … how does she feel about the results?”
“Are you asking me if she’s happy to have a sister?”
“Yes,” she whispered the word, hating that once again she was feeling disposable, good only for her last name and not herself. Yesterday, Cassandra had been delightful, but she’d also been there to get the DNA sample. Now that she had it and the results, there was no reason for her to be nice and act like they got along.
“All of this has been a huge shock to her, but she likes you a lot, and she thinks you’re the silver lining from this whole ordeal.”
Opening her eyes, because she needed to be able to judge Jax’s sincerity and her faith in him had already taken a hit, she looked up at him. “If she’s not comfortable with me, I understand that. I can live without my fairytale, I've been doing it all my life anyway. I understand it must be terrible to find out you're an affair baby.”
“Princess,” Jax drew the word out, and she heard the pain and sadness in his voice.
“Don’t, Jax,” she pleaded before he could bring up again that his family believed that his stepmom was raped and that was howCassandra was conceived. She still didn't believe that was what had happened. “I know what you all believe, but I … I just can't accept that.”
The arm around her tightened, and the hand stroking her back paused to palm her head, tilting it further back. “I understand that, I get where you're coming from. I exploded into your life and brought nothing but danger and trouble, and a story that’s hard for you to believe. I’m so sorry for how everything happened. I wish I could go back and do it differently, but I can't. All I can do now is try to fix what I damaged.”
She so badly wanted to believe that, but the facts were that he’d gone to that Halloween ball with the intention of gathering intel from her. Intel he was yet to get. Was he only hanging around now, pretending to want to make amends, so that she would tell him where her father was staying?
If he was, he was going to be disappointed because she honestly had no idea.
The problem with trust was that once it was broken it was so hard to fix because it made you doubt everything.
That was exactly how she felt.
More than anything, she wanted to believe that the connection she’d felt to Jax from that first second when their gazes connected was real. That he regretted not telling her the truth earlier, and he was there with only one goal in mind, to fix things.
But she’d been burned before chasing down fairytales that didn't exist in the real world. She didn't want to get hurt again.
Maybe what she needed was to hear everything that had led to them believing that her dad was a crazy rapist intent on destroying their family. If she knew why they thought it, she would know how to refute it.
Opening her mouth to tell Jax they needed to sit down and really talk, before she could get a word out, a loud crack sounded through the air, and she was falling toward the ground.
