Page 70 of Traitorous Lies
Clinging to her calm, cool, polite façade was becoming increasingly difficult. It took everything she had in her, every single thing she’d ever learned from her grandmother on how she was supposed to behave, not to let everything that boiled inside her come exploding out.
Just because she was beginning to accept that the life she wanted was never going to happen for her, and she’d better become resigned to the life her grandparents wanted for her, didn't mean she wasn't angry, hurt, confused, and betrayed by Jax’s words.
It seemed he regretted them. He’d apologized several times, and he kept doing little things for her like last night’s dessert, that she assumed were supposed to convince her that he was sorry, but she couldn’t allow herself to believe it.
A game.
That’s all.
He was playing another game with her. Had to be. Although why he would bother she wasn't sure. Yesterday she’d listened to them go through everything they knew about the men involved in Carla Charleston’s rape. While she still didn't see any definitive proof that her father was involved, it was more than obvious that they were convinced. So she’d made a list of every conceivable place where she thought her dad might be.
The sooner they proved his innocence, the sooner she could get away from this family and move on with her life.
Stepping into the cover of the trees, Monique was infinitely glad that this morning she’d been able to walk across the open field and not run like her instincts were driving her to do. Practicing keeping herself under tight control was imperative going forward. It was the only way she would survive without her rescue and her solitude. As soon as she told her grandparents she was ready to marry whoever they chose for her, she was sure she’d be married within the year, and her life as she’d always known it, always dreamed of it, would be over.
Tears burned the backs of her eyes, and now that she was out of sight from anyone who might be watching from the mansion’s windows, she ran between the trees until she came to the little spot she’d found out there. Even though she knew she wouldn't be there for much longer, this spot had begun to feel like hers. It was just a tiny clearing, no more than five feet across, but perfectly round. In the middle was a huge rock that warmed with the sun’s rays, making it the perfect place to sit and cry, allowing the woods to absorb her pain.
Cry is exactly what she did.
Letting all the pain and disappointment inside her, all the words she wouldn't allow herself to say out loud, to come pouring out.
Normally, she wasn't a big crier. After being abducted as a teenager and having her grandparents basically tell her to get over it, deal with it, and don’t let anyone know she was suffering, she’d learned it wasn't worth the effort.
But these last twenty-four hours, it felt like she’d shed a lifetime of tears.
She’d just let them fall where no one could see or hear.
Thankfully, her new bedroom was on the second floor, which meant she had the entire floor to herself, so she didn't have to worry about anyone overhearing. Still she’d mostly cried in the shower, and then once she curled up under the covers in the huge antique canopy bed.
Now, alone and surrounded by nothing but trees, she didn't hold back.
All that anger at Jax flooded out of her. Her mind raged with all the words she wanted to say to him. How could he do that to her? How could he listen to her talk about her deepest pain and pretend that he understood, that he saw her, the real her, only to then throw it back in her face? Why would he do that? She’d done everything he asked of her, and that phone call had been for them, she already knew her dad was no rapist.
It wasn't only Jax she was angry with, though.
It was herself as well.
Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me.
How could she not see through Jax’s façade? How could she be stupid enough to give him a second chance? How could she be there alone when he had his entire family and she had no one?
Only suddenly she got the feeling she wasn't actually alone.
Glancing up from where she’d pressed her face against the tops of her knees as she wept, Monique saw a figure sitting on the ground, leaning against the closest tree. Immediately, she recognized Lion’s wild mane of hair, so she wasn't afraid for her safety. She was, however, immensely embarrassed.
She’d only let go, allowed her emotions to burst free because shethought she was alone. If she’d known that Lion was nearby, she would have gone up to her room instead and prayed that Jax didn't come looking for her.
Was this Lion’s special place too?
Was she intruding on it by being there?
That was the last thing she wanted to do. These guys were doing a wonderful thing by taking in the entire Charleston Holloway family, letting all those people intrude on the tranquility they’d created.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, wiping away the tears still streaming down her cheeks with the back of her hand. Not that it seemed to do any good. As soon as she wiped some away more took their place.
Lion didn't say anything, but he looked up from whatever he held in his hands and shot her a look that she interpreted as one telling her she didn't need to apologize.
For some reason, she didn't feel awkward around this man, even though he was huge and definitely gave off an intimidating vibe. Jax had told her to leave these guys alone as much as possible, but she hadn't asked Lion to sit there while she cried, and she couldn’t help but notice that he’d put himself in a spot between her and the mansion, almost as though he was keeping guard.
