Page 86 of Traitorous Lies
With her father dead, she had no parents left, but since neither of them had really played much of a role in her life—her father by choice, her mother not by choice—it wasn't like she missed them. It was more she felt so adrift, so uncertain of her place.
The guys had asked her to come with them, but offered her a choice if she’d rather go back to the rescue. Jax wanted a future for them together, and she had a sister now, which made these guys family even if she never got back together with Jax.
She wasn't alone … so why did she feel like she was?
Hot water rained down upon her, and even though she’d already scrubbed every spot of her father’s blood off her body and out of her hair, she still felt it clinging to her skin.
Just as Monique grabbed the bottle of shampoo and prepared to do another head-to-toe scrub, the door to the tiny bathroom in the plane opened.
Before she even looked, she knew who was there.
Jax.
While she’d done a quick clean-up at the house after the forensics people had gathered their evidence, he’d suggested once the plane took off that she use the shower to clean up properly. She’d half expected him to offer to come with her, but he hadn't, and she’d been torn between being relieved and regretful.
Just because she had reservations about going forward with a relationship with Jax didn't mean that her feelings for him had dimmed. They hadn't. If anything, they’d only continued to grow. He’d messed up, but he had owned it, apologized, and tried his best to rectify his wrongs by showing her all the ways he saw her.
Including not doubting her and stopping her from confronting her father and playing her role in bringing him down and getting justice for them all.
“How you doing, princess?” he asked as he stood on the other side of the glass shower wall.
“I’m … doing,” she answered, it was the only thing that seemed to sum up the storm of emotions inside her. She was doing the best she could. Nothing more and nothing less. “I want to read my mom’s letter, but … I don’t think I’m ready.” She wasn’t sure when she would be either. Everything she’d learned was too much to deal with.
“That’s okay. When you’re ready, you’ll know, and the letter will still be there. If you want me to leave, I will, but I’d rather not leave you alone right now.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted to belong. Belonging felt like being with Jax, and she didn't want to overthink things and talk herself out of it.
So she reached over and pushed open the shower door.
Relief filled the dark eyes that looked back at her, filled with warmth, respect, and tender affection. Stripping out of his clothes, Jax stepped into the shower with her and closed the door. With the two of them in there it was a tight fit, but she didn't mind the small space, if anything, having it filled with Jax’s presence made it feel safe.
“Let me,” he said, taking the bottle of shampoo from her hands, and squirting a generous amount into the palm of his hand.
Turning her around, his large fingers worked the shampoo through her shoulder-length locks. Soapy suds slipped down her skin as hemassaged her scalp until she moaned in delight and the tension drained out of her body.
Moving them both slightly so she was directly under the spray, he rinsed out every bit of frothy white soap, then reached for the conditioner. Again, he worked a generous amount through her hair, then grabbed the comb and eased out all the knots.
Once he’d washed out the conditioner, he grabbed the body wash and squirted out into his hand about three times as much as she would usually use, making her giggle.
“Do you think I'm twenty feet tall?” she asked, looking up at him over her shoulder.
In response, he merely grinned at her, then opened the bottle again and squirted more body wash on both of her shoulders, her back, and then a huge amount down the front of her chest. As the water streamed down on her, the body wash began to lather up, leaving her covered in trails of suds like she was taking a bubble bath instead of a shower.
Soapy hands roamed her body, stroking over her skin in soft caresses, and when one of those big hands settled between her legs, the other on one of her breasts, Monique sighed and leaned back into the sturdy chest behind her.
The future was uncertain, but some things she knew for certain. Jax owned up to his mistakes, he wasn't too proud to say he was sorry, he made her feel beautiful and desirable, and he made her feel like her last name could be anything and he’d still want her. He made her feel safe and protected, but also strong and free. He didn't make her feel like she had to be something she wasn't. And even though he’d messed up, she did actually feel seen with him. After all, he’d spent the last couple of days showing her in dozens of little ways that he’d taken the time and effort to remember details about her and things she liked.
“Jax, more,” she murmured as his deft fingers swept along her center, teasing her bundle of nerves, but not giving her enough. Not nearly enough.
“Are you sure?”
Was she?
Sure about this moment and wanting more of his touch? Absolutely.
Sure about the future and knowing she wanted Jax to be part of it? Yes.
She was.
