Page 18 of The Mountain Man's Mail Order Temptation
“My personal tormentor.”
Dottie drops her knitting next to half a dozen bags on my front porch. Are those throw pillows sticking out of them? What the hell?
“Yoo Hoo! Is that you, Ellie? My, you are even prettier than your picture.”
I see the exact moment Ellie realizes who our visitor is. Her eyes narrow at my grandmother as I help her out of the truck and go for the grocery bags.
“You must be Dottie.”
My grandmother wraps her in a hug and says, “Don’t listen to a thing he’s told you about me.”
I sigh and follow them up the steps. “Dottie, what the fuck is all this?”
“A bit of color to liven up the tomb you call a cabin. Honestly, you put all that work into renovating it but can’t be bothered with curtains? Ellie needs pretty things in her new home. Oh, are those baking supplies?” She turns to Ellie. “I knew you were perfect for my grandson the minute I saw your application. Give him lots of orgasms and baked goods, and he’s yours forever. That’s what I say.”
“Jesus, Grandma.” I unlock the door and enter the alarm code, letting them in, then go back for the last of the groceries.
As soon as I step back inside, I realize my error. Never should have left Ellie unattended with the old bat.
“—worry about inexperience. Anson’s grandfather loved it when I stroked his?—”
“Dottie,” I growl. I’ve never blushed in my life, but I’ve also never been this embarrassed.
“Google it,” she whispers to Ellie, who is bright pink and fighting a grin.
I drop the groceries on the counter and rub the back of my neck where a headache is forming. “You turned off your phone, ignored my messages, sent me a fucking bride like a UPS package, and now you’re here to what? Decorate my house while giving sex advice? Go start a podcast. Don’t fuck with other people’s lives.”
“Why not? You weren’t finding your perfect match. Besides, you said you didn’t want a wife last month. You didn’t say youneverwanted one. Poor Ellie might have been snatched up by someone who wouldn’t appreciate her. Although I’m starting to think you won’t either. I bet you haven’t even kissed her.”
“That’s none of your business.”
She plucks a pink business card out of her goddamn bra and waves it at me. “Yes, it is. Perfect Pairings. How can I keep matching people if I don’t know the matches work out?”
“Okay. Time to go.” I usher her toward the door.
“I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re taking care of her.”
“Fine. I’m taking care of her.” I never thought I’d frog march my grandmother out my front door, but here we are.
“Have you chopped wood with your shirt off? Showed her what she’s got to work with?”
“You’re a menace.”
She twists around to look at Ellie. “If he didn’t kiss you yet, this isn’t over.”
Her light laughter follows us. “He did, Dottie. Promise.”
My grandmother glares at me. “That was all you had to say. Instead,you’re a rude, terrible grandson for treating me this way.”
Guilt pricks at what’s left of my conscience. If she hadn’t meddled, Ellie wouldn’t be here. I’d be the same man I was yesterday… I stop and pull the old woman into a hug. “Love you. Now go find someone else to meddle with.”
She sniffs. “Only if you take that woman to bed and then marry her.”
“There’s no satisfying you.”
“I’ll be happy when the grandson I love more than anything finally smiles.”
There it is. The sucker punch to the chest. “Deal.”
