Page 54 of Rejected Nanny Mate
I made it out of the backyard, and I shifted into wolf form, running through the forest that surrounded Joe's house. I didn't know where I was going, but I couldn't stay there, not with the image of him and Mia together fresh in my mind. I didn't want to see him again, not when I was still reeling from the shock. My heart felt like it had been torn out of my chest and stomped on, and I was gasping for air even though I was a wolf. I kept running.
A shadow came up behind me, and I knew it was Joe. He was coming after me, and I was so upset that I had to run faster than him, I had to escape. The forest was dark, the trees looming above us as we raced through the underbrush, and I had to jump over fallen logs and duck under branches to avoid running straight into them. Joe was larger and faster, but I was lighter, and I managed to stay ahead of him by just enough.
But eventually, I got tired, and slowed, and I knew he was right behind me. I felt his presence, and when I turned around, he was there, towering above me as a wolf, looking down at me. His green eyes were glowing, and I wondered if I was about to be attacked by a wolf three times my size.
His jaw opened, and I thought he was about to bite me, but instead, he leaned down and grabbed my scruff with his teeth, lifting me off the ground. I went limp, letting him carry me like a puppy as he turned around and took off once more.
I felt ridiculous. I wanted to fight him, to run away again, but I knew he'd catch me, and that he'd be able to keep me there. When we reached a quiet area near a stream, Joe deposited me on the ground, then shifted back and stood above me, arms crossed. He looked pissed, but also confused. He kept running a hand through his hair, making it stand on end.
“What was that about?”
I shifted, keeping my head down so I didn't have to look him in the eye. “I... I don't know.”
“You were just going to run off?” he demanded, and I felt a flash of annoyance. Yes, I was, but it was because of him.” You were going to run all the way back to Samson's land? What if you were attacked by a surge, Gwen? Did you even think about that?”
“No, I—I'm sorry, okay?”
“I was looking for you all night. I had this whole fucking party planned just to get you here, and then Mia cornered me, and I let her get the drop on me. And then you just ran away, no explanation, no nothing. Why do you think I was alone with her? I didn't want to be. She tricked me.”
“I... wait, what?” I looked up at him, frowning. “Why did you throw this party?”
He threw his hands up. “For you! To get you to come to my house so we could talk! So, I could apologize to you!”
“Apologize?” I repeated, incredulous. “For what?”
“For snapping at you!” he shouted, his eyes flashing. “And for being an ass about Mia, and about Jayce, and for not telling you that I've wanted you since I first laid eyes on you. For not telling you that I need you in my life, Gwen.” He took a deep breath. “I'm sorry for all of it, okay? I'm sorry.”
My heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean 'all of it'?”
He sighed and sat on a log near the running water. He patted the area next to him, and despite my better judgment, I lowered myself down next to him and listened as he spoke. My mind was already reeling from what he told me, but what he was about to confess would nearly bring me to my knees.
“When we first met, I was immediately drawn to you. I'd never felt a draw like that towards any she-wolf, and I was willing to ignore the fact that we were in different packs to explore just what it meant. We became friends, and then...fuck, Gwen. I knew I was falling for you, and I wanted to talk to Samson about actually courting you and potentially bringing you into my pack if things worked out.”
All the blood had drained from my face, and I was watching him like he'd lost his mind. “What...?”
“The night after I kissed you, I went to speak to my father about it. I'd been Alpha for a long time at that point, and my father was near death, but I wanted his approval before he passed. What I'd never told you was...was that when he stepped down to let me take over Brokenclaw, he'd made me swear to marry a high-ranking Omega from a pack that would benefit our pack to connect with. Dad was all about growing our power, and he was dismissive of the tri-pack alliance from the beginning.When I told him about you, he went ballistic. He threatened to humiliate me in front of the pack and to drag your name through the mud, too. He was weak, but I didn't have it in me to fight him, Gwen. I would have killed him, and as much of an asshole as he was, he was still my father.”
“Why...” I forced out through numb lips. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because you confessed your love to me the next fucking night, and I didn't know what to do. I was an asshole because I thought it would hurt you less if you hated me. I figured that if you were mad at me, it would make it easier for you to stay away. But it didn't, and it's been killing me inside to see you so upset every time I saw you.” He grabbed my hands in his. “I'm sorry I lied, Gwen. I'm sorry I tried to push you away. I want to be with you; I want to give this a shot.”
“You're insane,” I said flatly, yanking my hands back. “You think I'm just going to forgive you like that? You rejected me, and now you want me to come back? Is this some kind of joke?”
“It's not a joke,” Joe said, frowning. “Denying you nearly destroyed me. When Kiera suggested you could be Rose's nanny, I thought maybe the universe was giving me a second chance. My Dad died years ago, but even if he were still around, I'm man enough now to have told him to fuck off. I expected that things would come back slowly between us, if they did at all, but as soon as you moved in, the feelings came back in full force.” He sighed. “Gwen, I've never stopped caring about you.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe him so badly that my heart ached. “Then why, Mia?” I asked, voice breaking. “Why was she undressing in front of you?”
Joe's expression turned dark, and I knew he was thinking about what had happened. “I don't know. She came to me to talk, and I let her drag me into a room alone. It was stupid, but I never thought she'd try to seduce me. Not when she's relying on me for sanctuary and hoping to join the pack. It was a stupid fucking move on her part, but I was stupid for letting her get me alone.”
I sighed. “Joe...if this is true, and I'm not saying I fully believe you yet, then I'm glad you told me, but I can't just leap into this. You hurt me. I can't forget that. We need to take this slow. We can't rush it.”
“Whatever you need, Gwen.”
“And…” I paused, looking into the distance. “You aren’t allowed to get mad at me about this, because I caught you eavesdropping on me, too, remember? The day we argued downtown, I heard you and the other Alphas talking about me, and how I was plain, and—”
“Goddammit,” Joe dragged a hand through his hair. “It was all a lie, Gwen. I know it makes me look like even more of an asshole, but I just said all that shit because Jayce seemed interested in you, and I wanted him to stop. I didn’t want anyone else to pursue you. You…are so damned beautiful to me, Gwen. I wish I could take it all back.”
I sighed. “I think I need time. Time to process, to heal from the last few months, and to get used to the idea of...of being with you.” I looked down at my hands. “And Rose.”
