Page 55 of Rejected Nanny Mate
“She already adores you.”
“I adore her, too, but that doesn't mean we should rush into anything.”
He nodded. “Take your time.” Then, Joe swallowed, bringing a hand to my face. “The night you went into heat wasthe best night of my life, Gwen. The connection was real. It still is.”
I was hot all over, thinking of that night, the way he'd made me come apart again and again. The warmth of the memory drove away the cold from the shock, and it felt like color was coming back into the world again. My heart was thumping in my chest, and I couldn't believe everything that had just happened.
He hadn't wanted to leave me. He'd cared for me this entire time.
“I...” I licked my lips, trying to find the words, and trying to resist the urge to just throw myself into his arms. “I need to go, before I do something stupid, but...could you kiss me, just once, before I do?”
Joe's mouth was on mine in a heartbeat, and he was kissing me with all the passion and fervor of someone who'd been denied for eons. I kissed him back, matching his energy and feeling my body responding to his as it had the night we spent together. The chemistry between us was undeniable, and I couldn't keep myself from wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer, kissing him with everything I had. His warm, masculine scent enveloped me, and I tilted my head back to give him better access to my neck.
Joe peppered kisses from my jawline to my throat, and finally to the sensitive scent gland on the side of my neck. When he opened his mouth and sucked at that spot, my desire roared to a fever pitch, and something snapped deep in my belly.
Oh, no.
It was just like before, the night of the first surge. My heat came on like a runaway train, completely out of nowhere. It was much, much too soon, but the combination of having my firstheat so late in life and my intense need for Joe had triggered it anyway, and I was positive that I was going up in flames.
Joe knew it, too, his nostrils flaring as he scented the change in me. I pulled back, panting, and put my hands on his shoulders to hold him at arm's length. As much as I wanted him to take me to the forest floor and fuck me senseless, all the things he'd told me were too important to wash away in the haze of sex. I wanted more than just sex with Joe, and if I was going to sort through my feelings, I was going to have to accomplish the monumental task of walking away from him just minutes after my heat had started.
“I have to go,” I said, standing on shaky legs. “I can't do this. I'm not ready.”
“Gwen—”
“No, I mean it. I can't do this right now.” I ran a hand through my hair, which was already a mess from the run through the forest and the kissing. “I... I believe you about how you feel, and I'm sorry about Mia, but I need to get my head on straight. This is all happening too fast.”
Joe sighed. “Okay. I get it. I'm not happy about it, but I understand. Do you want me to walk you home?”
“No,” I said, taking a step back. “It's better if you don't.”
He frowned, looking annoyed, but didn't argue. “Okay. Be safe.”
Not trusting myself to look back, I turned and shifted again, my body thrumming with energy, and ran away from Joe, knowing he wouldn't follow.
The run back was much longer, but I wasn't able to think straight with the heat burning inside of me. Every time I thought about the things Joe had confessed, I also thought about ourkiss, and then about the way we'd fucked before. It made it hard to concentrate, and I got turned around a few times. It wasn't safe, running so aimlessly, but the longer I sprinted, the more exhausted I became, and with exhaustion came clarity of mind.
I ran and ran, until the adrenaline and the pounding need for rest and water overcame my heat. By the time I made it back to Joe's house, I could sense that he still wasn't home, and the bonfire party was winding down. I didn't even bother shifting back to human, trotting past a few other pack members who all looked at me curiously.
It wasn't until I was in my room, with the door locked, that I trusted myself to be on two feet again. I shuffled, barely able to stand, to the bathroom and cranked the shower to the hottest setting, stepping beneath the water the second it began to fall. I tilted my head back, letting the water cascade over me, and for the first time since Joe had caught me by the scruff, I felt like I was myself again. Fully in control.
And, to my utter shock, Gwen, with a clear mind, wanted the exact same thing that heat-addled Gwen wanted.
I wanted Joe, and I didn't want any more distance between us. He'd been so vulnerable, opening himself up to me and showing me the most painful parts of himself, all so the air would be clear for us to try again. That time, when the tears started to fall, they were happy tears.
I laughed, there by myself in the shower. I knew what I wanted, and after a long sleep, I was going to find him and tell him exactly how I felt. I was going to tell Joe I'd never stopped caring for him, and that I was ready to start over, this time with every road open in front of us.
Chapter 21 - Joe
It was predawn when I left the house the night after the bonfire. Rose was still with Nayeli, Gwen was asleep, and Mia was presumably back at Malcolm's. I'd barely slept, knowing that Gwen, in heat and fully aware of how I felt about her, was just down the hallway.
But even with nearly no sleep, I'd woken before the sun with a massive amount of nervous energy to burn. With the world quiet around me, I approached the treeline, shifted, and bounded off into the forest as a wolf.
It felt good, running as hard as I could with no destination. The air was crisp, the sun was just coming up over the horizon, and I was free from all responsibilities for just a little while. I kept my mind blank, reveling in the sensation of feeling the earth beneath my paws. The leaves crunched under my weight, the sound of my paws on the forest floor like a heartbeat. I felt wild, untamed, and unburdened. It was everything I'd needed and hadn't known.
The pack was sleeping off the aftermath of the bonfire, so there was no one else taking advantage of the early morning hunting hours, and it felt like I had the world to myself.
Two hours in, I finally sensed someone else in the woods with me, and with a start, I realized it was Gwen. I turned towards her energy signature, only skidding to a halt when I saw her standing on the path that led back to my house. She hadn't shifted and was waiting for me in human form, dressed in leggings and a hoodie I recognized as my own.
