Page 101 of Mad Rivals
It still begs the question about how much of my life he’s orchestrated, though. Did he pay off colleges to accept me or my brothers? Did he have the right influences to ensure those of us who had basic talents in football were developed in a way to getus to the pro level? Furthermore, did he have connections there that gave us options that others would never have had?
At thirty-five, though, does any of it even matter at this point? I like to think I’m a strong man who’s made his own decisions over the course of his life, but these secrets have me questioning all of it.
And for the first time, I’m grateful for this trade to San Diego. I’m grateful I don’t have to stay in Chicago in close proximity to my father and his secrets.
Dex is lucky, too, playing football in Vegas, and Ford in Tampa Bay and Liam in Pittsburgh. Archer is lucky to be playing baseball for the Vegas Heat. My sisters, though…Everleigh and Ivy are out of luck in Chicago, close to home.
I should warn them. They’re my little sisters, after all.
But this thing with the casinos…it feels like a secret I need to take to my grave. If our father wanted us to know, he would’ve told us. I wonder if my mother knows about them. I assume she does. She certainly spends the money from them on whatever whim befalls her at any given moment.
“You’re quiet,” Kennedy says beside me. We’re up in first class, and the plane is going to touch down soon. She reaches for my hand, and she threads her fingers through mine and sort of plays with our hands together as we talk.
“Lost in thought,” I mutter.
“About?”
I clear my throat and glance around. “Saturday morning’s discovery.”
“What about it?”
I lift a shoulder. “I was just wondering if my mother knows.” I keep my voice low. “Or any of my siblings.”
“Did you ask your dad that?”
I shake my head.
“You never said what you two talked about after he asked me to leave.” It’s a clear prompt for me to share, but I’m notcomfortable discussing this at all, least of all on an airplane, to be honest.
I shake my head a little. “He told me a bit about why he got into it, but that was as far as we got. He asked if I can ensure your silence.” I say the last part a little meaningfully, hoping she’ll catch the point that I don’t want to be talking about this.
“I won’t tell anyone anything. Why’d he get into it?”
“Let’s talk about it later,” I suggest.
She nods, and she pulls her hand from mine. It feels a little symbolic, and I’m sure I don’t like it.
When we walk through my front door, I’m expecting to feel relaxed. We’re back in California now. This is our safe haven.
Only…it doesn’t feel that way at all.
“Can we talk about it now?” she asks.
I blow out a breath. “Can we just…I don’t know.Nottalk about it?” I walk over and take her in my arms as I do my best to sound apologetic. “I just don’t want to ruin our safe space here with talk about my father.”
She looks disappointed, and I hate that he’s coming between us. I blow out a breath and relent, but I let go of her first.
“He got his ass kicked when he was a senior in college for unpaid debts, and long story short, he decided he’d never be the one getting his ass beat again.”
Her eyes are wide. “What does that mean?”
I run my hand through my hair. “I don’t really know. That’s about as much as he told me, and I don’t really want to think about what it means.” I turn away from her and walk over toward the window where I can look out at my view and don’t have to stare at her prying eyes as I admit some pretty fucking hard truths. “He kept going on about everything he’s done for this family, and I don’t know what he meant by that, either. My entire life and those of my siblings may have been orchestrated by him, and maybe I don’t even know who the fuck I am anymore. And most importantly, I still don’t fucking know if he waseverplanning to tell me about his money laundering schemes or if Iwas going to take over the company and be on the hook for his sins.”
That’s the brunt of it, and the problem is that while I was never particularly close with my father, the last two days have told me that I actually never knew anything about him at all.
I don’t know what I expect her to say to all of that. Nothing, maybe. I don’t think I’d be surprised if she just walked out. How can she love me when I don’t even know who the fuck I am anymore?
Instead of responding to my ramblings, she doesn’t say anything at all. I spot some movement in the window beside me, and then I feel her fingertips on my shoulder.
