Page 61 of I'm Looking for a Man in Finance
“This is my favorite part of sailing.” James leaned in tight. His lips brushed against my head, just above my ear. “Trying to be so in tune with the wind that you know exactly how to steer. Listening to the world around you, letting it be your guide.”
“I’m not sure how to do that,” I told him.
His grip on my forearms tightened. “Just close your eyes and focus on the direction of the wind. Where’s it coming from? You want the wind set up to go from right to left across the ship so it catches the sail. Close your eyes, Hal, and feel.”
With a shaky breath, I let my eyelids drift shut and did what James said. I focused on the wind as it danced across my skin, blowing my hair back from my face, until I knew exactly the direction it was coming from. For a moment, the world fell away as my senses focused in on the crash of the surrounding waves. The sound of the front of the boat crashing in and out of the water and the roar of the wind in my ears. I’d spent the last seven years in the city and had forgotten what it felt like to feel thisfree. To not be chasing the next best thing. The next big story. The next big promotion. Everything that I had once thought was so important felt menial now, with such beauty and freedom stretching out in front of me.
It made me wonder why I ever felt like I had to do something I didn’t want to, just to achieve a dream. Why I had to sacrifice so much to come up with so little? Suddenly, everything felt simple.
All I needed to do was steer myself in the right direction to catch the wind—to do the things I enjoyed. To be with the people that I cared about and that broughtme happiness. If Anthea decided I wasn’t the right fit for the job after this series was done, then so be it. I would figure out another way to achieve my dreams.
Sophisticatehad always been my dream magazine to write for. But I loved showcasing great restaurants and people more. Reviewing food was the wind in my sails. I couldn’t lose sight of that and steer myself in the wrong direction.
I gently turned the boat in the direction I thought was best for the ship to catch the wind.
Sebastian let out a whoop from the bow of the boat as the sails fully extended with the wind. Roxie cheered from behind us. James’s laugh, a rich, deep rumble, echoed through the air as he let out a whoop that mirrored Sebastian’s boisterous call. The boat leaned with the wind as we picked up speed and I nearly fell over with the sudden change.
“Easy. Keep your feet wide and your core tight.” James pushed my feet apart to help give me a wider base as his hands dropped from my forearms to my waist to help steady me. “You’re sailing, Hal!”
A startled laugh bubbled up from inside of me. “I’m sailing,” I breathed as the boat tilted even further. “This is incredible!” I exclaimed.
Without thinking, I turned and threw my arms around James’s neck. I felt him reach out to grab the wheel with one hand before he wrapped his free arm around my waist. I knew I was sending mixed signals after last night. I thought putting some distance between us would make things easier. But nothing about this situation was easy. Truth was, I didn’t even knowwhatI truly wanted.
The food critic position?
James?
The thing was, I’d just realized it might be possible to have both as I stood in James’s arms on his family’s sailboat. Although our backgrounds were worlds apart, and I’d initially judged him by his profession, his character consistently defied my expectations.
“Thank you,” I whispered into his ear as I squeezed him a little tighter. He only hesitated for a moment before whispering back, “Always.”
22
James
As I watched Hallie devour a crab cake Benedict at brunch on Sunday morning, I’d made up my mind. I wanted to date her. Without the deal we had struck. Without the fancy dinners and the trips. I wanted to stay in and watch a movie with her or play board games on a Saturday night. I wanted to know what she looked like when she woke up in the morning or how many steps her nighttime skincare routine was.
After sailing yesterday, and despite her pushing me away the night before, I was thinking that maybe she wanted that, too.
We were officially three dates into our agreement. Our time together was ending. In two more dates, Hallie would owe me a review for my family’s restaurant and then we wouldn’t have to see each other again … Unless we actuallywantedto.
And I was so hoping that she would want to.
“There’s a firework show and a party on the beach tonight, if the two of you are open to that,” I told Hallie and Roxie. Sebastian and I had grown up going to the same party since we were kids sneaking out past our bedtimes to drink with the older kids. I wasn’t sure there was anything more quintessential for a Memorial Day weekend in the Hamptons than a bonfire party on the beach.
“That sounds perfect,” Roxie agreed. “I could use some booze to wash down all the food we’ve consumed this weekend.”
“I’ll make sure there’s whiskey,” Sebastian interjected, as a look passed between him and Roxie. One that only the two of them knew the meaning of.
“A party on the beach in the Hamptons would be the perfect way to wrap up my article,” Hallie added.
Right.I’d almost forgotten for a moment why we were here.
“Do you think your boss will like your article?” I asked.
“Likeit?” Hallie scoffed. “I think she’s going to love it. I started writing some of it last night after we got back from sailing. I think it’ll be my best one yet. Mr. Old Fashioned will make women around the country swoon.”
While that was great for Hallie’s chances at the critic position, I really didn’t care if every woman in America swooned at the actions of the fictional version of me. I only cared if one woman did.
