Page 109 of Something Tattered
Joel was right. Iwasnice.
Boring.
Civilized.
Conventional.
Like a four-door sedan or a Saint Bernard.
My shoulders sagged. No wonder he was taking it slow. I was a nice person, heaven help me.
Joel reached for his own glass and took an even longer drink than I had. When he returned the glass to the railing, it was nearly empty.
Well, this was just great. I'd driven him to drink.
Looking to saysomething, I said, "Wow, you must really like cabernet, huh?"
"Something like that."
From the look on his face, the "something" was the need to wash away something unpleasant. I knew what it was – my stupid "nasty" comment. See? Even when Iusedthe term, I was an utter failure.
Probably, he was picturing his brothers naked or something. From the look on his face, it was an image he didn't enjoy.
I could totally relate. Sure, they were great-looking at all, buttheyweren't the ones who kept me awake at night, with thoughts that made me blush in the light of day.
And now, I'd put the wrong X-rated images into Joel's head. No wonder he looked disturbed. IfIhad brothers, I wouldn't want to think of them as nasty, with all of the naked implications that went along with it.
Hoping to break the tension, I tried to make a joke of it. "Nasty brothers." I gave a nervous laugh. "Like with no clothes on or something. I mean, who wants to picturethat, right?"
Now, it washisturn to freeze. "What?"
I cleared my throat. "I mean, because nasty and naked kind of go together, you know?"
He was still staring, looking evenlesshappy now.
Desperate for a recovery, I blurted out, "Not thatI'mthinking of them naked or anything."
He stared at me for a long moment. And then, in a tight voice, he said, "Good to know."
It was definitely time for me to shut up. If I were an airplane, I'd be going down in flames, big-time. I reached for the only parachute I had – my glass of wine. I lifted it to my lips and downed the rest of it. I returned the now-empty glass to the railing and looked longingly at the bottle. If I grabbed it and guzzled, wouldthatbe nasty? Or just pathetic?
Pathetic, definitely.
Reluctantly, I looked back to Joel. His expression was so cold, it gave me a shiver.
Talk about awkward.The more I talked, the less he liked it. At this point, I didn't even know what to say. What was that old phrase? When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you should do is stop digging?
I mentally threw away my shovel, along with any hope of not looking like a complete imbecile.
After a long, tense moment, Joel asked, "Which one were you picturing?"
"What?" I felt my eyes widen in horror. "Oh, my God. You don't mean your brothers, do you?"
Joel gave a loose shrug. "You brought it up. Not me."
Suddenly, I was wishing Ihaddug a hole, the real kind, so I could throw myself into it and hide from my humiliation.
And now, heaven help me, I had to explain. It was either that, or let him think that I'd been dreaming of his brothers in the buff.
