Page 57 of Something Tattered
"Oh, that," she said. "Well, you probably saw, he didn't take off a single thing, not even his hat."
"Yeah," I said. "And do you know why?"
"Why?"
"Because my aunt told him not to."
"Oh man, what a bummer. But I guess that explains it."
"Explains what?"
"Well, the whole time he's dancing and stuff, he's describing what hewouldbe taking off, if only we were alone in some cow patch or something."
In spite of everything, I had to laugh. "What's a cow patch?"
"Heck if I know," she said. "And you wanna hear something funny? I don't thinkheknew either. But anyway, he's going into all this detail, even as does his thing."
I recalled the spectacle from Friday night. From the little I'd seen, his "thing" involved a whole lot of straddling and thrusting.
April continued, "And he's all like…" She mimicked a masculine drawl. "'Then, I'd take off my pants, andyou, my little filly, would wanna ride me around, rodeo-style.'"
I burst out laughing. "That makes no sense."
"I know," she said. "But it was awesome." Her tone grew more serious. "You're not sorry you missed it, are you?"
Now, it wasmyturn to imitate the cowboy. "No ma'am."
April laughed. "You know what? I thinkyourcowboy voice was better than his."
I couldn’t resist. "Thanks partner."
Suddenly, she burst out, "Oh my God! I almost forgot to tell you. You know my favorite zombie movie, right?"
"How could I forget?" I smiled at the memory. "You dragged me to see that thing like five times."
The movie's name wasFlashbang, and zombies were just a small part of the plot. It was a huge cult favorite from a few years back, some low-budget indie flick that somehow managed to gross a fortune.
On the phone, April was saying, "I know, it was awesome, right?"
Itwasawesome – not the movie, but the fact that April loved it so much. As for me, I was more of a vampire girl. Still, I said, "Yeah, it was pretty awesome."
"So get this." She squealed, "I saw the car!"
Ouch.I held the phone away from my ear. "What car?"
"The one from the movie! You remember, right?"
I tried to think. From what I recalled, the hero had driven this beat-up Camaro across the Mohave Desert, all the while being pursued by gangs of zombies, mutants and pissed-off bikers. "Yeah, it was–"
I froze. A Camaro.TheCamaro?No, it couldn’t be.
April said, "Sorry, what was that? You cut out for a minute."
My mind was whirling. Still, I managed to say, "It was a Camaro, right?"
"Yeah, totally. See, Iknewyou'd remember."
"And you saw it?" I said. "Where?"
