Page 38 of Vampire so Virtuous
“I’m not a shrink.”
“But you’re a friend.”
“Yes, and as a friend, do you think you should maybe see a doctor?”
“I did,” Cally said. “He ran some tests. Said I was perfectly healthy.”
“A therapist then?”
Cally shook her head. “Maybe. But I’m not going crazy—or at least I don’t think I am. It’s just—”
“You don’t need to be crazy to see a therapist.”
“I guess you’re right,” she said. “Expensive, though. Long waiting lists.”
She sat in silence, staring at the table while Joon watched her, concern etched into his expression.
“I guess I figured it would pass, but it’s not,” she said, subdued.
“So you’re taking it out on me?” She glanced up sharply, but he was teasing. “It’s okay, I can be a punching bag. But I might throw the pads back on next time. Or, hey, perhaps you could use an actual punching bag?”
She managed a faint smile, more reflex than genuine. “Yeah, well, thanks for putting up with me while I’m working through my demons.”
“Any time. I can take it. Especially if it helps. Is it?”
Cally hesitated, her fingers tracing idle patterns on the mug. She thought about the hours spent sparring and training, the bruises she’d given and received, and the relentless nightmares that still plagued her.
“No. Not so far.” She exhaled sharply and toyed with the coffee mug. “Ieven tried some melatonin.”Didn’t work, Eve.“Still had nightmares but couldn’t wake up.”Not doing that again.“I mean Christ, Joon, I’m sleeping with the light on. I even applied for a gun permit.”
He huffed in disbelief. “You? A gun? I thought you hated them.”
“I don’t hate them, I just never saw the need. But what else am I supposed to do? I feel so—” Her voice caught, and she gestured vaguely, searching for words.
“Helpless and scared?”
“Yes.” Her jaw clenched. “And Ihateit.”
Joon nodded as if her confession hadn’t surprised him in the slightest. “For what it’s worth, most scared people hide at home. They don’t come out fighting. They don’t train four times a week.”
She shifted awkwardly. “Well, some do.”
“Yeah, some do. You do.” He leaned forward, his tone firm but encouraging. “That’s my point. You’re a fighter, Cally. No matter what happens, you’ll figure it out. You’ll be okay.”
“Thanks, I guess,” She took a sip of coffee, though it tasted as bitter as her mood. “So why do I feel scared all the time?”
“Okay.” Joon leaned back, crossing his arms. “Let’s break it down. You’re pretty sure it all started that specific evening?”
“Yes.”
“Quite certain? Nothing else going on around the same time? Work? Boyfriend? Money worries? Your dad okay?”
Cally shook her head. “Nope, work’s fine, just slow. No boyfriend. I earn enough. My dad’s okay. He’s…”Lonely. “He’s fine.”
“All right,” he said. “So you were walking home, and somewhere along the way you started feeling dizzy and nauseous?”
“Well, kinda. The nausea didn’t hit until I was home.”
He looked awkward, rubbing the back of his neck. “And, uh, none of my business, but—”
