Page 95 of You and Me, For Real
He wraps an arm around my shoulder and rubs his hand up and down my arm. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He leans forward, tilting his head toward me, his forehead resting against mine. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
I nod, biting my lower lip. “It’s just stupid.”
“I doubt that.”
He continues the rhythm of his slow caress along my arm, waiting patiently for me to open up.
“My relationship with my mom is complicated.”
“I understand complicated parental relationships.”
“My family had the reality TV show, right?”
“Yeah?”
“We started filming when I was ten. Just clips here and there for a YouTube channel my mom started. It didn’t take long before it grew in popularity. Along with that came more cameras, more lighting, and eventually, hiring a camera crew. Our entire lives captured on film.”
He nods, encouraging me to continue, yet also allowing me to take my time.
I inhale a big breath. “I hated it. Hated the cameras. Hated trying to portray some perfect, happy life that never existed. When the cameras weren’t on, my mom rarely acknowledged my existence. I purely served as entertainment for the world. The only time I had her private attention was when I wasn’t doing something right for the footage.”
I dip my fingers in the sand, drawing a swirling pattern. “Tonight’s party pricked at an old wound. Mom threw me a similar massive, elaborate thirteenth birthday party. It caught enough viewers that it drew producers to our door, vying for a contract deal for television. Even then, I wanted out, but I was a minor under my mom’s guidance. What could I do?”
“Sounds awful.”
“It was. But it wasn’t until I was seventeen that I hit my tipping point.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t exactly popular, not like my older sister, Cecily. She was perfect. Navigated social circumstances better than anyone I knew. I, however, was the awkward duckling, the black sheep, the unwanted one.”
“Impossible.”
I look at his face, seeing his sincerity. “I was. I didn’t like the same things as my mom and sister. My sister did everything my mom asked and more. She was the star. I was just the second daughter she was stuck with. I often escaped to my room, usuallyto read or do my homework. By sixteen, I was already dreaming of a completely different life than the so-called perfect one my mom had curated.”
“Let me guess…no mansion, no fame, no paparazzi, no…cameras. I can see why my lifestyle might not exactly appeal to you.”
I nod, avoiding his gaze, fisting a handful of sand and letting it seep through my fingers. “Just before my eighteenth birthday, a guy from my senior class started to pay attention to me. It began with casual conversations that morphed into notes between classes and then texting. Eventually, he asked me on a date.
“This guy was popular and gorgeous. His name was Tanner. He never once brought up our family’s reality show. I thought for once I’d found a guy who either didn’t pay attention to that stuff or didn’t care. That alone was enough to spark my interest in him, but then he also looked at me like I was beautiful…special.”
Griffin places his hand over mine on top of the sand and weaves his fingers over mine. “You are.”
“For some stupid reason, I believed him. I trusted him. One night, he invited me to this party.” I squeeze my eyes tight, the memory still stinging.
Griffin turns my hand over and clasps it in his. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Tears build in my eyes. “It’s okay. I want to. It’s just that I’ve only ever told one other person this story.”
“Lynn?”
“Yes.” I lean into him. “We went to this party at his friend’s house. I met him there. I thought it was a bit strange that he didn’t pick me up, but I was so excited to have a date that I didn’t question it too much. I showed up, and the party was in full swing, but he waited for me at the entrance of the house. He wrapped his arm around me like we were a real couple andnavigated me inside. It wasn’t until later that I realized he never really introduced me to anyone. Just gave high-fives and bro-slaps to his buddies. Little did I know, he was guiding me to a specific spot for a specific purpose.”
Griffin tenses.
“His friend lived by the beach. Tanner set up an elaborate date for us in a gazebo at the edge of the property. It was decorated with twinkle lights, a blanket surrounded by candles, and snacks for two. I thought it was the most romantic thing I’d ever seen. No one had done such a thing for me before. So later that night, when he leaned in to kiss me, I let him. But a sweet peck turned into him attacking my mouth and plastering his body to mine. It all happened so fast. I barely had time to react.
“The next thing I knew, cameras were everywhere—flashes blinding me. Spotlights from video cameras beamed on us. Multiple people shouted questions from every direction.
