Page 45 of Lady for a Season
“He is well, he only wished to say I was late, Her Grace needs me for something,” improvised Maggie. “Can you do my hair as quickly as possible, Jane?”
She hurried down the stairs as soon as she could escape from Jane’s careful grooming, going first to the drawing room and then the morning room in search of Edward, before finding the Duchess and Doctor Morrison in the library, the two of them standing over Edward, who was seated on a low stool as though being punished.
“You are still under my care, Edward,” Doctor Morrison was saying, with a kindly smile. “You have only to say the word and I will take you back to Ivy Cottage. If it all seems too much for you, if you cannot face the season in London, you have only to send for me at any time.”
Edward did not answer.
“I see that he is struggling,” said the doctor to the Duchess, who appeared fearful. “It is already a bad sign that he felt unable to leave Ivy Cottage without Maggie.” He gave her a disdainful glance. “You will keep me informed of his progress, Your Grace, so that I can advise you on the best possible treatment for him.”
The Duchess looked worried. “If he can only be married off…”
“That is certainly our hope, Your Grace. But should he show signs of being unable to maintain a façade of sanity, it would be better to withdraw him from society once more until we can be certain his behaviour will not tarnish his reputation amongst theton. Once doubt has been sown… it may be too late to be mended.”
The Duchess nodded; her hands tightly clenched together.
“Edward, you must reassure Doctor Morrison that you are able to… to face the season.”
Edward gave a small nod.
“Speak, Edward,” said the doctor. “If you cannot speak when spoken to, it bodes badly for the season to come.”
Edward raised his face. His expression was miserable. “I will do my best.”
“Very well,” said Doctor Morrison. “I must be on my way, but I will keep a close eye on his wellbeing,” he said, and Maggie heard his words as a threat. He left the room, the Duchess following him, both ignoring Maggie as they passed her.
Edward put his head in his hands. “I will fail, I know it.”
She knelt before him. “You willnotfail. You have done so much, changed so much for the better since we came back here. You have grown better in yourself, anyone can see it.”
“I thought I was doing well but they… when they doubt me, it makes me doubt myself. I wasn’t born to be the Duke, Maggie, I was only…”
“Stop it. Youarethe Duke now, born to it or not. Mr Wilson thinks you are doing well, he was delighted with your interest in the cottages, in the management of the whole estate.”
“We have not been anywhere, met with anybody. We might as well have been back at Ivy Cottage. Now we must go into society, be amongst people who will ask questions, who will watch me at every moment, who will judge whether I am worthy of marrying their daughters…”
“Any woman would be lucky to marry you.”
“Lucky to marry a lunatic?”
“You arenota lunatic.”
“Doctor Morrison—”
“I don’t care what Doctor Morrison says. I have spent more time with you than he has, and I say you are sane.”
He gave a tiny laugh and took her hands in his. “I am sane when you are with me, Maggie. You give me hope that I can be the man everyone wants me to be.”
She shook her head. “You need only be the man you are, Edward,” she said. “You are more than enough.”
“Do not leave me, Maggie,” he said, raising his blue eyes to meet her concerned gaze. “Promise me you will stay by my side.”
“I promise.”
Chapter 5:
London
The journey to London made Maggie feel ill. The endless rocking of the carriage was part of the reason, but seeing Edward grow ever more silent and anxious as the miles went past, and the Duchess grew ever more watchful, as though he were about to bolt, caused a hard knot of fear in Maggie’s stomach. She did not even feel she could converse with Edward as she would like to, to try and make him smile or even laugh with absurdities, under the Duchess’ eye. If only she and Edward could have had a carriage to themselves. As it was, when they stopped at coaching inns and were shown, with great deference, to private parlours in which to eat, Maggie had to watch as Edward ate less and less, his face tight with anxiety. They ate in rigid silence and returned to the carriage, for further jolting miles. The servants were travelling ahead of them, so that they could be ready to attend them at each coaching inn, but even Joseph and Celine’s friendly faces gave Maggie scant comfort. They stayed overnight in an inn and were shown to rooms which were comfortable enough, but Maggie spent most of the night listening out in case Edward should need her and the next dayfound the carriage’s rocking worse than ever, swaying between nausea and sleep, hour after weary hour.
