Page 73 of Lady for a Season
Edward nodded and stood up to shake the hand of the representative of the Marine Society, which sent poor boys into the navy. “I am keen that children especially should be well cared for and find their place in the world.”
These moments of charitable efforts were the only part of Edward’s day that brought him pleasure. The silent mealtimes were unbearable, the invitations continuing unwanted pressure. Maggie’s compliance with the need to marry him off was a constant source of hurt. If she had begged him to embrace her again, to kiss her, to marry her, he would have risked even the torments of Ivy Cottage again, only to have her by his side, butinstead she avoided his gaze, turned her face away from him and spent her days and evenings all but ushering young women towards him.
His nightmares grew worse. In them, Maggie was taken from him by force, or he was dragged away from her, closed up in a racing carriage taking him back to Ivy Cottage. Or he was back in Ivy Cottage already and the doctor was administering his treatments. He would wake screaming, sweating, and where before Maggie would have come to him, now she did not. Instead Joseph would hurry to him, would try to calm him, speaking gently. Edward was grateful for Joseph’s care, but he longed for Maggie’s warm embrace, her voice whispering to him, her hands clasping his. Being lost to his nightmares again without her presence was a loneliness he thought he had escaped.
For Maggie, hearing Edward cry out and be unable to go to him was a torture. She would pull the bell frantically for Joseph, knowing he would go to Edward’s room, grateful that Edward had someone by his side when she could not be there.
As May came to an end, Edward’s nightmares grew ever worse and one night, after she had heard his shouts and Joseph’s hurried footsteps, she waited until Joseph left the Oak Room and opened her door, waylaying him as he left.
“The nightmares are getting worse.”
He nodded.
“I am grateful to you for caring for him so well,” she whispered.
He hesitated. “May I speak with you?”
She nodded, led him to a little alcove along the corridor where two chairs were placed, for servants who needed to wait up at night until the family returned from balls or dinners. She sat and indicated the other chair.
He hovered, uncertain for a moment, then took the chair and leant forward. “I have something to ask you.”
“What is it?”
“Will you marry me?”
“Joseph!”
He reached out for her hand. “When I first brought you here, I hoped only you would care for His Grace, that he could be free again, for he has never been mad. I thought Her Grace was foolish to propose what she did, I was certain you would fail, that you would be exposed and yet you managed it, you held your own through all of the season and I came to admire you.”
“Joseph…”
“You are brave. Kind. Intelligent. We could go far away from here, there are many opportunities for a footman who has served a duke. In a lesser household I could secure a position as a butler. You would not need to work. We could live a good life together, I know it.”
She laid her hand on his.
“I can’t, Joseph. I wouldn’t wish to marry you without loving you. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I would be kind to you, Maggie. A life shared with a good person by your side is worth striving for. When His Grace marries, they will let you go, and I would be happy to go with you and build a fine life together.”
She gazed into his deep brown eyes. “You know whom I love, Joseph. It would stand between us.”
He sighed and let go of her hand. “You should tell him how you feel.”
She shook her head. “He needs to marry. He needs to be safe.”
“And you think marrying a woman he barely knows, who will come under his mother’s control, will protect him from being locked away again?”
“I will find a way to get rid of Doctor Morrison.”
“How?”
She shook her head. “I do not know. But I will find a way.”
“He should dismiss the doctor himself.”
“The Duchess would never allow it.”
Joseph leant forward. “He is the master now. He is the Duke of Buckingham. He outranks her.”
